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Nowadays online education has become popular as more institute and companies are offering courses online however many people prefer the traditional classroom training or study discuss the advantage and disadvantages of both methods v.1

Nowadays online education has become popular as more institute and companies are offering courses online however many people prefer the traditional classroom training or study discuss the advantage and disadvantages of both methods v. 1
It is believed by many that nowadays popular products are being sold in high volume with the help of the advertisements and not because of the society really needs. I completely agree with this statement and I will state the reasons for my view. The most compelling reason for my view is that advertisements are being used broadly now. It is getting easier to convince people to buy when the products are being advertised everywhere, such as TV commercials, Internet Pop-ups and Radio advertising. Furthermore, some of the products offer discounts such as 'Buy one Get one' or ' Buy one Get Second One 50% off', which are the great deals that people do not want to miss even though they have never tried the product before. This resulted in the advertised products are getting more benefited in sales than those goods that are in real needs. A further reason to hold my view is the celebrity endorsement. This is because business companies believe that when famous and trendy celebrities are paid to promote the products, people are most likely to buy even though they are new to the market. This leads people to buy unnecessary items than what they actually need. In conclusion, I completely agree that because of the power of advertisements, people are buying popular goods than what they actually need. This is due to advertisements are seen almost everywhere and celebrities endorse the products. Given this situation, it is important that society should balance their needs when it comes to shopping.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that nowadays popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
being sold
in high volume with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the society
really
needs. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will state the reasons for my view.

The most compelling reason for my view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
broadly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. It is getting easier to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
being advertised
everywhere, such as TV commercials, Internet Pop-ups and Radio advertising.
Furthermore
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
offer discounts such as '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
one' or
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
Second One 50% off', which are the great deals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to miss
even though
they have never tried the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This resulted in the advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are getting more benefited in sales than those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that are in real needs.

A
further
reason to hold my view is the celebrity endorsement. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
believe that when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and trendy celebrities
are paid
to promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are most likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
even though
they are new to the market.
Did you mean "these"?
This
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary items than what they actually need.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
than what they actually need. This is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
almost everywhere and celebrities endorse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that society should balance their needs when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to shopping.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays online education has become popular as more institute and companies are offering courses online however many people prefer the traditional classroom training or study discuss the advantage and disadvantages of both methods v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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