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Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. v.4

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. v. 4
It is believed that the best time to learn a foreign language is at the early age. Therefore, some people think children should be taught new language as they start school. I personally disagree with the statement, since the children might get stressed, and there are other lessons which are more important than a foreign language. The following paragraphs will explain some of the reasons in detail. Firstly, it is undeniable that children start their formal education at an early age these days. Some parents have registered their children at the age of three or four, but others have enrolled their children at the age of two. During these periods, children are in the process of learning their mother tongue language. They are still learning the alphabetical words, pronunciation, grammar and vocabularies of their native languages. If the children are then taught a new language, then there is a risk that the children might get mixed up or confused. Secondly, the early-aged children should focus on learning other important things, besides a new language. They should learn subjects like arts and sport. Art is an essential subject for the children as it teaches them about colours and creativities, while sports are also vital for the development of the children’s physical appearance. Besides that, it is also important to teach the children about numbers as well, as it is beneficial for their further studies. In conclusion, I personally disagree that the children should learn a foreign language at the early age. It is better for the children to focus on their native language first, and there are other subjects which are more important for them to learn.
It
is believed
that the best time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is at the early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
school. I
personally
disagree with the statement, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
lessons which are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. The following paragraphs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons in detail.

Firstly
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their formal education at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents have registered their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of three or four,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others have enrolled their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of two. During these periods,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in the process of learning their mother tongue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. They are
still
learning the alphabetical words, pronunciation, grammar and vocabularies of their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are then taught a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, then there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mixed up or confused.

Secondly
, the early-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should focus on learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things,
besides
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. They should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
subjects like arts and sport. Art is an essential subject for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as it teaches them about
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativities
, while sports are
also
vital for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
physical appearance.
Besides
that, it is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about numbers
as well
, as it is beneficial for their
further
studies.

In conclusion
, I
personally
disagree that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. It is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to focus on their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
first
, and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects which are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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