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Children nowadays watch TV programmes more than ever before. Is watching television good or bad for children? v.1

Children nowadays watch TV programmes more than ever before. Is watching television good or bad for children? v. 1
In recent years, television has become popular in the most parts of the world. As a result, children have an easy access to a TV set or even their mobile phone serves many TV channels. Undoubtedly, this may have a significant impact on the development of the youth. In this essay, the advantages and disadvantages of children watching television will be analysed and the author's opinion provided at the end. On the up side, the youngest people of society have an additional resource of useful information by watching broadcasted programmes. For instance, they can learn about nature, science and politics from documentaries. Additionally, children may see the complex relationships of adults in dramas. Therefore, they might become more empathetic. Another major positive aspect of staying on end in front of a screen is that it is possible to learn a foreign language. In my experience, some of my friends honed their English language skills when they were younger. To sum up, it can be seen that television can be an alternative to learning. Turning to the other side of the argument, watching television can affect children in a negative way. Firstly, a lot of films are created that are praised for the special effects, not for the underlying ideas. Thus, children may waste their time by enjoying only the views.   Secondly, generally speaking, offensive language and violence are used to make films more intense. As a result, the youth might think that being aggressive in daily situations can be a solution to some of their personal problems. Therefore, our society can become more competitive and justify violence in the future. It is clear now, why some broadcasted programmes are considered negative. In conclusion, the benefits and drawbacks of children watching television were analysed. Noteworthy is the fact that the usefulness of the delivered information by broadcasting depends solely on the personal choice. In my opinion, the advantages of television outweigh the disadvantages as I believe that children either can choose wisely what to watch themselves or they are advised by their parents.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become popular in the most parts of the world.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
to a TV set or even their mobile phone serves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
TV channels.
Undoubtedly
, this may have a significant impact on the development of the youth. In this essay, the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
and the author's opinion provided at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the up side, the youngest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of society have an additional resource of useful information by watching broadcasted
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
For instance
, they can learn about nature, science and politics from documentaries.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the complex relationships of adults in dramas.
Therefore
, they might become more empathetic. Another major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of staying on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
in front of a screen is that it is possible to learn a foreign language. In my experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my friends honed their English language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when they were younger. To sum up, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be an alternative to learning.

Turning to the other side of the argument, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
films
are created
that
are praised
for the special effects, not for the underlying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may waste their time by enjoying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the views.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Secondly
,
generally
speaking, offensive language and violence are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
films more intense.
As a result
, the youth might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that being aggressive in daily situations can be a solution to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their personal problems.
Therefore
, our society can become more competitive and justify violence in the future. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
broadcasted
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

In conclusion
, the benefits and drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
were
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
. Noteworthy is the fact that the usefulness of the delivered information by broadcasting depends
solely
on the personal choice. In my opinion, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
outweigh the disadvantages as I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
either can choose
wisely
what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
themselves or they
are advised
by their parents.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays watch TV programmes more than ever before. Is watching television good or bad for children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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