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Children nowadays watch significantly now television than in the past which reduces their activity levels accordingly Why is this the case What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children v.2

Children nowadays watch significantly now television than in the past which reduces their activity levels accordingly Why is this the case What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children v. 2
Today there is a burgeoning rate of youngsters who prefer watching television than doing leisure activities and this causes an adverse effect on the development of children. Therefore, my essay will concentrate on main reasons and solutions for this issue. Regarding to the root of this case, there are two causes that can access children to television rather than outside activities. Firstly, it is true that television generates an undeniably immense enchantment to youngsters. Various channels there improved and updated day by day to adapt offspring’s demand such as Cartoon Network, CNN, BBC, with a wide range of children’s programs from entertaining to educational shows, are holding children’s foot in front of a television screen. Secondly, there are a large number of youngster’s playing areas visually narrowed along with the decrease in outside leisure activities. Consequently, youngsters in the modern world only stay at home after school time and spend many hours on digital technologies like television, which is considered as a drug. However, there are also various ways to solve this problem, which the most initial importance is a hearty attention to the development of country’s offspring. Whereby, people may construct children’s amusement parks, amusement centers or organize outside games like sports and art performances in order to captivate and stimulate children. Furthermore, parents should encourage their sons and daughters to attend according activities to improve comprehensively children’s physical and intellectual capabilities. Additionally, the school schedule should combine learning with sports or exercises to promote extra activities. The slogan: “extracurricular activities imperative for overall development” maybe suitable for these efforts. In conclusion, I emphasis two reasons holding children in front of television, which are the high quality of television programs and the decrease of children’s amusement areas. Nevertheless, a variety of methods may tackle this issue, which its core is the heart and the devotion of adults.
Today
there is a burgeoning rate of youngsters who prefer watching
television
than doing leisure
activities
and this causes an adverse effect on the development of
children
.
Therefore
, my essay will concentrate on main reasons and solutions for this issue.

Regarding to
the root of this case, there are two causes that can access
children
to
television
rather
than outside
activities
.
Firstly
, it is true that
television
generates an
undeniably
immense enchantment to youngsters. Various channels there
improved
and updated day by day to adapt offspring’s demand such as Cartoon Network, CNN, BBC, with a wide range of
children’s
programs from entertaining to educational
shows
, are holding
children’s
foot in front of a
television
screen.
Secondly
, there are
a large number of
youngster’s
playing areas
visually
narrowed along with the decrease in outside leisure
activities
.
Consequently
, youngsters in the modern world
only
stay at home after school time and spend
many
hours on digital technologies like
television
, which
is considered
as a drug.

However
, there are
also
various ways to solve this problem, which the most initial importance is a hearty attention to the development of country’s offspring. Whereby,
people
may construct
children’s
amusement parks, amusement centers or organize outside games like sports and art performances in order to captivate and stimulate
children
.
Furthermore
, parents should encourage their sons and daughters to attend according
activities
to
improve
comprehensively
children’s
physical and intellectual capabilities.
Additionally
, the school schedule should combine learning with sports or exercises to promote extra
activities
. The slogan: “extracurricular
activities
imperative for
overall
development” maybe suitable for these efforts.

In conclusion
, I
emphasis
two reasons holding
children
in front of
television
, which are the high quality of
television
programs and the decrease of
children’s
amusement areas.
Nevertheless
, a variety of methods may tackle this issue, which its core is the heart and the devotion of adults.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays watch significantly now television than in the past which reduces their activity levels accordingly Why is this the case What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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