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Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think this as a positive change, however, others think of it as a negative change. What do you think? v.1

Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think this as a positive change, however, others think of it as a negative change. What do you think? v. 1
Gone were the days, when only wealthy people can afford to buy electronics and new clothes every other month, but with the disposable income everyone can buy nowadays. In recent times consumer goods are easily affordable. This essay will discuss does its merits outweigh demerits. To embark on, a decade ago due to limited resources as well as income hardly everyone can buy the consumer goods only rich people can afford it. To illustrate, 10 years ago wealthy people has the phone and electronic gadgets, but still they can't change it as often as they now can even after a month or so. For example, a study shows that now every 2nd house in the world has smartphones and television in their home. Thus, cheaper consumer good has made somehow everyone equal in this social status and made peoples' life easy as communication is being made easy now anyone can talk with each even at distant. Although, cheap goods have brought lots of benefits, but still it has great impact on the environment with the disposable income and the arrival of new gadgets everyday has a bad impact on the atmosphere. For instance, every month there is a new arrival of product hits the market, which makes the people buy more and which create the problem of landfills everywhere. After a certain period these resources will diminish if we will not take care of this thing now. Therefore, excessive production lead to more litter. In a nutshell, cheap goods are a beneficial bit to some extent we must stop producing unnecessary goods and consumptions as it is causing great damage to earth otherwise it will be too late
Gone were the days, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
electronics and new clothes every other month,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the disposable income everyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
nowadays. In recent times consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
easily
affordable. This essay will discuss does its merits outweigh demerits.

To embark on, a decade ago due to limited resources
as well
as income hardly everyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford it. To illustrate, 10 years ago wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
the phone and electronic gadgets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
can even after a month or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For example
, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
every 2nd
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the world has smartphones and television in their home.
Thus
, cheaper consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
has made somehow everyone equal in this social status and made peoples' life easy as communication is
being made
easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
anyone can talk with each even at distant.

Although,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
have brought lots of benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
it has great impact on the environment with the disposable income and the arrival of new gadgets
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the atmosphere.
For instance
, every month there is a new arrival of product hits the market, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more and which create the problem of landfills everywhere. After a certain period these resources will diminish if we will not take care of this thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
Therefore
, excessive production lead to
Use only "litter" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more litter
.

In a nutshell,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are a beneficial bit to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
producing unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
as it is causing great damage to earth
otherwise
it will be too late
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think this as a positive change, however, others think of it as a negative change. What do you think? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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