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Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and how serious are the consequences? v.3

Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and how serious are the consequences? v. 3
Nowadays, junk food has emerged as the most preferred choice among children and teenagers, when we discuss the various eating options. There are a number of reasons that fast food is very popular among them, but this has led to very negative impacts on the health of the young ones. One of the core reasons, which have immensely affected the fragile minds of the young ones, is advertisements. The visuals and presentation of junk food in advertisements are very attractive and appealing, as children tend to opt for junk food over homemade food. Also, the fast food chains are easily approachable these days as compared to earlier times. Another important reason is the lack of parental control of children, due to their busy office schedules these days. Parents often pamper their children by increasing their pocket money and full filling all their needs, which as a result make children to follow their own liking. The habit of consuming more and more junk food can be very dangerous for the health of the young ones, as the nutritional value of such food is very low in comparison to homemade food. The use of chemical preservatives in junk food may cause serious health problems. In a survey, it has been found that children consuming more junk food are prone to obesity and have weak immune system, which is a serious issue. In conclusion, junk food has become a convenient option for the young generation due to its abundance and fancy advertisement, but it has severe consequences on the health of the young ones. So parents should take appropriate steps to make sure that their children opt for healthy options for prolong and healthy life ahead.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has emerged as the most preferred choice among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, when we discuss the various eating options. There are a number of reasons that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones.

One of the core reasons, which have
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the fragile minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, is advertisements. The visuals and presentation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in advertisements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive and appealing, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Also
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains are
easily
approachable these days as compared to earlier times. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is the lack of parental control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, due to their busy office schedules these days. Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pamper their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by increasing their pocket money and full filling all their needs, which
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
liking.

The habit of consuming more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, as the nutritional value of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low
in comparison
to homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of chemical preservatives in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may cause serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. In a survey, it has
been found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consuming more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are prone to obesity and have weak immune system, which is a serious issue.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become a convenient option for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation due to its abundance and fancy advertisement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has severe consequences on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents should take appropriate steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
opt for healthy options for prolong and healthy life ahead.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and how serious are the consequences? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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