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Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. v. 2
It is true that modern kids appear to be more physically inactive during leisure time than their past generations. While I agree that sporting hours are vital for a child’s growth and development, I would argue that such schemes should be optional instead of compulsory. Admittedly, doing physical exercise might offer a range of benefits for a kid’s all-round educational development. Firstly, an active schoolboy can reduce potential risks of serious diseases such as diabetes, obesity or more dangerously heart attack. This is due to the fact that secondary students take P. E lessons on a regular basis, leading to strengthening stamina, flexibility and building up a better body. Secondly, the opportunity to take part in sporting classes is possibly a great way to relieve stress and put down the burdens of studying in the classroom context. For example, I remember participating in P. E hours every other day during high school, which was extremely pleasurable and helped me concentrate in a classroom context. Although physical activities play an essential part in the all-round progress of any school-age children, I do not believe that such educational programs have to be mandatory in a schoolhouse. By this, I mean that not every child is physically appropriate to carry out sport. For instance, if we tried to make sporting lessons compulsory in the school curriculum, this would severely result in unfair situations or even bad behaviours for those groups of pupils. By making such physical development schemes, optional, we could ensure that only motivated and suitable students took part. These youngsters would be able to get into better shape or even gain valuable competence for an adult working environment such as competition and collaboration skills. To conclude, even though engaging in physical exercises has a crucial role to play in a kid’s all-embracing education advancement, it is my firm belief that it is wiser to make such programs elective instead of obligatory.
It is true that modern kids appear to be more
physically
inactive during leisure time than their past generations. While I
agree
that sporting hours are vital for a child’s growth and development, I would argue that such schemes should be optional
instead
of compulsory.

Admittedly
, doing
physical
exercise might offer a range of benefits for a kid’s all-round educational development.
Firstly
, an active schoolboy can
reduce
potential
risks
of serious diseases such as diabetes, obesity or more
dangerously
heart attack.
This is due to the fact that
secondary students take P. E lessons on a regular basis, leading to strengthening stamina, flexibility and building up a better body.
Secondly
, the opportunity to
take part
in sporting classes is
possibly
a great way to relieve
stress
and put down the burdens of studying in the classroom context.
For example
, I remember participating in P. E hours every other day during high school, which was
extremely
pleasurable and
helped
me concentrate in a classroom context.

Although
physical
activities play an essential part in the all-round progress of any school-age children, I do not believe that such educational programs
have to
be mandatory in a schoolhouse. By this, I mean that not every child is
physically
appropriate to carry out sport.
For instance
, if we tried to
make
sporting lessons compulsory in the school curriculum, this would
severely
result in unfair situations or even
bad
behaviours
for those groups of pupils. By making such
physical
development schemes, optional, we could ensure that
only
motivated and suitable students
took part
. These youngsters would be able to
get
into better shape or even gain valuable competence for an adult working environment such as competition and collaboration
skills
.

To conclude
,
even though
engaging in
physical
exercises has a crucial role to play in a kid’s all-embracing education advancement, it is my firm belief that it is wiser to
make
such programs elective
instead
of obligatory.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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