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Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn new languages in childhood. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.4

I am convinced that, it is wise to study languages in childhood than in adulthood, because young’s are more successfully learning in their stage. As far I am concerned, this essay will discuss my assertive points to justify what I mean, and lastly will provide my conclusion remarks. First of all, Children have high willingness to learn than adults. It is easy to position the children and make them learn new things in their life compared to adults who have already learned much. They are controlled by enthusiasm of exploring sundry vocabularies, and most of them are enjoying being injected by alien utterance. To prove this, when I was little boy I was enjoying different types of words which were foreign to me. Contrary to adults, they may find boring to learn language when finding repeating the same subject. Besides that point above, to punish the children is very easy than adults when committed mistakes or disobeying the studies. We all know that, for an effective student to learn better, sometimes they must be a punishment to the learner so that to make him concentrate on the studies. It is very difficult with the matured person to punish. In conclusion, offspring’s have better understanding language than matured person, and should be encouraged to learn new things to accomplish their goals.
I
am convinced
that, it is wise to study languages in childhood than in adulthood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young’s are more
successfully
learning in their stage. As far I
am concerned
, this essay will discuss my assertive points to justify what I mean, and
lastly
will provide my conclusion remarks.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, Children have high willingness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. It is easy to position the children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things in their life compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who have already learned much. They
are controlled
by enthusiasm of exploring sundry vocabularies, and most of them are enjoying
being injected
by alien utterance. To prove this, when I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boy I was enjoying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of words which were foreign to me. Contrary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, they may find boring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
language when finding repeating the same subject.

Besides
that point above, to punish the children is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use “easier than” to make a comparison with this adjective.
easy than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
when committed mistakes or disobeying the studies. We all know that, for an effective student to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
better,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a punishment to the learner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him concentrate on the studies. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult with the matured person to punish.

In conclusion
, offspring’s have better understanding language than matured person, and should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things to accomplish their goals.
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Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn languages in childhood.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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