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Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn new languages in childhood. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn new languages in childhood. v. 1
It is a fact that the younger generation can learn a new language more effective than mature people. In this essay, I completely disagree with this idea because it will lead to some disadvantages. Although children have a strong learning power, but If they are forced to learn a new language, the imbalance in their infancy will happen. Moreover, that period of time will be an obsessive moment in their life. For example, if they learn a new dialect, they could not have enough time to play with their friends and also make them feel tired because they need to absorb an amount of knowledge. Furthermore, it can depress them in their studying. In addition to the concern above, I also believe that it will make their parents have extra pressure as they need to carry out the fee of a new language. In this way, to acclimatize their parental responsibility, they need to work overtime to earn more money. And for a long time, it will cause some psychological issues. In conclusion, children should not learn a new language in their childhood because it will point to a number of drawbacks although they can learn it better than adults.
It is a fact that the younger generation can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
more effective than mature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In this essay, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.

Although children have a strong learning power,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
If they
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, the imbalance in their infancy will happen.
Moreover
, that period of time will be an obsessive moment in their life.
For example
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
dialect, they could not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to play with their friends and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to absorb an amount of knowledge.
Furthermore
, it can depress them in their studying.

In addition
to the concern above, I
also
believe that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their parents have extra pressure as they need to carry out the fee of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. In this way, to acclimatize their parental responsibility, they need to work overtime to earn more money. And for a long time, it will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychological issues.

In conclusion
, children should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in their childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will point to a number of drawbacks although they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it better than adults.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn new languages in childhood. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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