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Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved? ” v.2

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved? ” v. 2
It is observed by many that people are having more inclination towards one stop shop rather than buying from nearest markets and shops. Therefore, local businesses are getting shut down at an alarming rate and inflation is seen in the economy. Government should educate the individuals to purchase in-house products from local stores rather than following the trend to buy from big stores to balance the economy. Nobody is visiting to small markets as youngsters; they prefer to go to the mall or supermarket to buy their groceries or dresses. Consequently, entrepreneurs who are not rich and not able to open large stores, they are facing huge losses and closing down to their shops owing to no sale. Thus, money is going into limited hands, Rich is becoming richer and poor is getting poorer day by day. Monopoly is increasing the power to the supplier to charge high prices for the customers as the supply sources are too limited in the markets. To increase the margin, industries are diminishing the quality and making immense profits. It is mandatory for the government to promote small shops and companies to balance the growth of the economy, otherwise unemployment will be flowing into the country. It is the responsibility of every man of the society to visit to the small shops for their purchases so that everyone will get the chance to earn and feed their family. Inflation and recession will be less, if everything would be available at reasonable rates. Moreover, if native of a country want to secure their future and want to make it radiant, it is their job to make sure they will consume home made products; otherwise other nations will get successful to export more. In conclusion, supermarkets are reducing jobs and income opportunities; it has to be controlled before further delay. It is crucial to rotate money in all hands as empty hands will not survive for long. A nation can develop when every habitant will be having enough to fulfil his or her basic needs.
It
is observed
by
many
that
people
are having more inclination towards one
stop
shop
rather
than buying from
nearest
markets and
shops
.
Therefore
, local businesses are getting shut down at an alarming rate and inflation is
seen
in the economy.
Government
should educate the individuals to
purchase
in-
house
products from local stores
rather
than following the trend to
buy
from
big
stores to balance the economy.

Nobody is visiting to
small
markets as youngsters; they prefer to go to the mall or supermarket to
buy
their groceries or dresses.
Consequently
, entrepreneurs who are not rich and not able to open large stores, they are facing huge losses and closing down to their
shops
owing to no sale.
Thus
, money is going into limited hands, Rich is becoming richer and poor is getting poorer day by day. Monopoly is increasing the power to the supplier to charge high prices for the customers as the supply sources are too limited in the markets. To increase the margin, industries are diminishing the quality and making immense profits.

It is mandatory for the
government
to promote
small
shops
and
companies
to balance the growth of the economy,
otherwise
unemployment will be flowing into the country. It is the responsibility of every
man
of the society to visit to the
small
shops
for their
purchases
so
that everyone will
get
the chance to earn and feed their family. Inflation and recession will be less, if everything would be available at reasonable rates.
Moreover
, if native of a country want to secure their future and want to
make
it radiant, it is their job to
make
sure they will consume home made products;
otherwise
other nations will
get
successful to export more.

In conclusion
, supermarkets are reducing jobs and income opportunities; it
has to
be controlled
before
further
delay. It is crucial to rotate money in all hands as empty hands will not survive for long. A nation can develop when every habitant will be having
enough
to fulfil
his or her
basic needs.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved? ” v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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