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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures? v.14

The problem of education which has now taken the shapes of a burning issue is caused by innumerable reasons. Also, children are facing educational, social and commercial pressures. In my opinion some stringent counter measure should be initiated to alleviate this hassle. The first and predominant reason is competition with the children next door, he is competing with the child of the global village. To exemplify this point we can consider that parents send their children to the best schools, where the school bag is often heavily than the child himself. Additionally, even after school hours there are private tuitions. Children don't have time to bloom and bring out their hidden talents. Furthermore, there are many social and commercial pressures is also major and inevitable culprit to cause this scenario. To justify I would quote the example of global culture, they want to adopt the global culture, where their parents force them to confine themselves to the traditions. Then they also face their peer pressure, whish can be good if their Peers are good, and bed if their peers are not disciplined. It is high time, contingent steps ought to be initiated to curb the detrimental impact of good behavior on children. Apart from this, parents should have pro-active approach and give time to their children. The aim of the competition should not sbe to win anything at all cost. Children have to be thought to win with modesty and with grace. In conclusion, I recapitulate my views that children must be given some space and relief from those things. Otherwise, this pressures will stifle the physical and mental growth of children.
The problem of education which has
now
taken the shapes of a burning issue
is caused
by innumerable reasons.
Also
,
children
are facing educational, social and commercial pressures.

In my opinion
some
stringent counter measure should
be initiated
to alleviate this hassle.

The
first
and predominant reason is competition with the
children
next
door, he is competing with the child of the global village. To exemplify this point we can consider that parents
send
their
children
to the best schools, where the school bag is
often
heavily
than the child himself.
Additionally
, even after school hours there are private
tuitions
.
Children
don't have time to bloom and bring out their hidden talents.

Furthermore
, there are
many
social and commercial pressures is
also
major and inevitable culprit to cause this scenario. To justify I would quote the example of global culture, they want to adopt the global culture, where their parents force them to confine themselves to the traditions. Then they
also
face their peer pressure,
whish
can be
good
if their Peers are
good
, and bed if their peers are not disciplined.

It is high time, contingent steps ought to
be initiated
to curb the detrimental impact of
good
behavior on
children
. Apart from this, parents should have pro-active approach and give time to their
children
. The aim of the competition should not
sbe
to win anything at all cost.
Children
have to
be
thought
to win with modesty and with grace.

In conclusion
, I recapitulate my views that
children
must
be
given
some
space and relief from those things.
Otherwise
, this pressures will stifle the physical and mental growth of
children
.
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IELTS essay Children are facing more and more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of theses pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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