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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures? v.10

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures? v. 10
Constriction on children was being common from the past to now. Pressure affects directs children's academic and social life. Additionally, families and close relationships are very important. Also, pressure causes some results like psychological and emotional disorders, social weakness and academic failure. However; there are myriad say to deal with pressure such as being supportive, not doing comparison, not blame their failure and always respect their choice. To begin with, pressure lead to some problems such as psychological and emotional disorders, social weakness and academic failure. Firstly, children who are under construction feel heavy stress and misery. For instance; when parents always wait successful behaviour of children in their lessons. The children try to do best all time and they make stress. Furthermore; when children were pressured by their parents, they feel have to do spend their time according to what parents want, and they cannot spend time with their friends or someone else. Lastly, procurement affect children's academic life. For example; İf children who are adolescent, they try to be against their parents. İn other words, they may frequently do opposite what their family says. Most of the children do not study because their parents want. On the other hand, we can finite this issue by utilizing some ways. First of all, parents should support their children what they do because they need them during academic and social life. İn addition to this, parents should not compare their children with others. That makes them having less self confident and they loss relevance to the family. Moreover, families should not blame their children what they do. Children's growth by making mistakes and truths. Lastly, choice of children always should be respected by everyone. To sum up, pressure is very strict behaviour over children. Children do not have to experience such as physical, emotional, social and academic. We can overcome the problem by respecting and supporting our children.
Constriction on
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children
was being common from the past to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pressure
affects directs children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
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social
life.
Additionally
,
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families
and close relationships are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Also
,
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pressure
causes
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some
results like psychological and emotional disorders,
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social
weakness and
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academic
failure.
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However
; there are myriad say to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
such as being supportive, not doing comparison, not blame their failure and always respect their choice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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pressure
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems such as psychological and emotional disorders,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
weakness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
failure.
Firstly
,
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children
who are under construction feel heavy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and misery.
For instance
; when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always wait successful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
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children
in their lessons. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to do best all
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
; when
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children
were pressured
by their
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parents
, they feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do spend their time according to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want, and they cannot spend time with their friends or someone else.
Lastly
, procurement affect children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
life.
For example
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
İf
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children
who are adolescent, they try to be against their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
other words, they may
frequently
do opposite what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
says. Most of the
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children
do not study be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause t
heir
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want.

On
the other hand,
we
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can finite
this issue by utilizing so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
me w
ays. Fi
rst o
f all,
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parents
should support their
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children
what they do be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause t
hey need them during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
addition to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not compare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with others. That mak
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
es th
em having less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confident
and they
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
relevance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Moreover,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should not blame their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what they do. Children's growth by making mistakes and truths.
Lastly
, choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always should
be respected
by everyone.

To sum up,
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pressure
is ver
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
y st
rict
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
do not hav
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
e to ex
perience such as physical, emotional,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
. We can overcome the problem by respecting and supporting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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