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Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mothers and fathers should take a child care training course. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mothers and fathers should take a child care training course. v. 2
All the parents must participate in baby supervision centres in order to keep their children safe and clean. This essay agrees, with the statement given above because behaviour in the most important factor and they are the future of the world. First and foremost, the kid should know how to behave with elders. They should be taken care from their mother and father because the child doesn't have those qualities by birth, it should be taught by someone. Their loved ones should have the knowledge of how to ride their children. For example, my cousin is well polite and respectful towards my family and he was praised for his behaviour by the members of our families. The reason, is that their parents are trained in child caring centre and they raised him with those abilities. Moreover, children are the upcoming generations of our society. They should have the minimum knowledge of ethics, values, etc. , till they completely grew and become matured. With those morals the kid become successful. Till certain age the children should be taken care by their elders as they are important for our society. For instance, Nehru's parents are trained in a centre in such a way that they can teach their son with good discipline activities and later he has grown up and became a well known and loved person in our country. In conclusion, if the children want to achieve their dreams they have to build up with basic abilities. So the parent's should provide the necessity caring by joining in the well trained coaching centres in order to improve their tradition and future of their life.
All the parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
participate in baby supervision
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
safe and clean. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
, with the statement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
factor and
they are the future of the world.

First
and foremost, the kid should know how to behave with elders. They should
be taken
care from their mother and father
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the child doesn't have those qualities by birth, it should
be taught
by someone. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones should have the knowledge of how to ride their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, my cousin is well polite and respectful towards my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
he
was praised
for his
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by the members of our families. The reason, is that their parents
are trained
in child caring
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
centre and
they raised him with those abilities.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the upcoming generations of our society. They should have the minimum knowledge of ethics, values, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
till they completely grew and become matured. With those morals the kid become successful. Till certain age the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taken
care by their elders as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our society.
For instance
, Nehru's parents
are trained
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in such a way that they can teach their son with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
discipline activities and later he has grown up and became a well known and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
person in our country.

In conclusion
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to achieve their dreams they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build up with basic abilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the parent's should provide the necessity caring by joining in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
coaching
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their tradition and future of their life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mothers and fathers should take a child care training course. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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