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With the advent of social media, more people are getting their news online instead of from print media. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for people who read news online. v.2

With the advent of social media, more people are getting their news online instead of from print media. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for people who read news online. v. 2
It is thought by many people that with the invention of technology, now most people acquire online news rather than the newspaper. Having online media would certainly an effective method and overcome many global issues, however, there will be some disadvantages. There are several obvious benefits of using the virtual broadcast. Firstly, the biggest advantage of e-papers is that it fastest media of reaching to latest news than regular newspapers. If any activity reported around the world that promptly updated on the online media in a short span of time. Secondly, Online media are immediately accessible and convenient. People can read the news at any place and even several times. For example, the online newspaper can be read, while travelling from the metro, sitting in offices. Although, people can view a week or month-old news and also can download the important news on their mobile phones, laptops and desktops. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of online media. Older generation people are not comfortable in reading e-papers, as compared to print media. In other words, as elderly people have plenty of free time, so they read all the news very carefully. Whereas, e-papers provides the highlight of current news happening around the world rather than smaller news articles, which print media usually cover. Furthermore, to access online media it is a must to have an internet connection because without internet people have to rely on normal newspapers. For example, in smaller cities, people still do not have an internet connection because of high charges, so people have to depend on print media. In conclusion, while there are several positive aspects of having an online media such as easy accessibility, convenient. However, it is not easily accessible to all age groups as well as it requires a large expense of installing the internet and device.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that with the invention of technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
would
certainly
an effective method and overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
global issues,
however
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.

There are several obvious benefits of using the virtual broadcast.
Firstly
, the biggest advantage of e-papers is that it
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fastest".
fastest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
of reaching to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
than regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
any activity reported around the world that
promptly
updated on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in a short span of time.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are immediately accessible and convenient.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at any place and even several times.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
can
be read
, while travelling from the metro, sitting in offices. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can view a week or month-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
also
can download the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on their mobile phones, laptops and desktops.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Older generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not comfortable in reading e-papers, as compared to print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
In other words
, as elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of free time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they read all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
carefully
. Whereas, e-papers provides the highlight of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
happening around the world
rather
than smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
articles, which print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
usually
cover.
Furthermore
, to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
it is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
have an internet connection
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
For example
, in smaller cities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
do not have an internet connection
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high charges,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on print media.

In conclusion
, while there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as easy accessibility, convenient.
However
, it is not
easily
accessible to all age groups
as well
as it requires a large expense of installing the internet and device.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay With the advent of social media, more people are getting their news online instead of from print media. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for people who read news online. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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