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Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises. v.2

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises. v. 2
It is true that taking up regular exercises and playing sports is of importance to stay healthy. These physical activities bring both various potential benefits and several drawbacks to our lives. It is essential that people should do plenty of exercise which could help build a healthy lifestyle in our fast-paced life nowadays. Firstly, while taking gentle exercises such as jogging in the park could improve physical strength, alternative forms of exercise like Tai chi, Qigong or Yoga could be a cure for mental health. These practices popular among people of all ages are effective ways to combat stress after a long hard-working day. Secondly, taking part in indoor or outdoor exercise in which there have been numerous members involving would be opportunities to form friendship and have social interactions. In fact, the likelihood of people developing a sedentary lifestyle and being isolated from communities is high since they spend many hours browsing social networking sites without a care in the world. By contrast, not only can enrol in sports clubs or working out at the gym encourage people to have direct interactions, but also develop social skills such as communication or critical thinking skill which are beneficial for their lives. However, playing sports and taking physical exercises could have several downsides which should be considered. From the safety perspective, anyone engaging in an extreme sport must take sensible precautions and seek expert advice. For example, Paragliding and cliff-jumping are two examples of extreme sports in which life-threatening injuries are sustained all too often by those who take part. In order to reduce the risks associated with dangerous sports, participants should undergo rigorous training and use all the essential sports gear required. In addition, the problem with encouraging sport at school is that it fosters a competitive spirit among students, instead of teaching children simply to do the best that they can in all aspects of life. Also, youth sport is being ruined by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the rules in order to achieve victory. In conclusion, although playing sports and taking regular exercise bring numerous advantages, people should be aware of its disadvantages and take the appropriate methods.
It is true that taking up regular
exercises
and playing
sports
is of importance to stay healthy. These physical activities bring both various potential benefits and several drawbacks to our
lives
.

It is essential that
people
should do
plenty
of
exercise
which could
help
build a healthy lifestyle in our
fast
-paced life nowadays.
Firstly
, while taking gentle
exercises
such as jogging in the park could
improve
physical strength, alternative forms of
exercise
like Tai chi,
Qigong
or Yoga could be a cure for mental health. These practices popular among
people
of all ages are effective ways to combat
stress
after a long
hard
-working day.
Secondly
, taking part in indoor or outdoor
exercise
in which there have been numerous members involving would be opportunities to form friendship and have social interactions. In fact, the likelihood of
people
developing a sedentary lifestyle and
being isolated
from communities is high since they spend
many
hours browsing social networking sites without a care in the world. By contrast, not
only
can enrol in
sports
clubs or working out at the gym encourage
people
to have direct interactions,
but
also
develop social
skills
such as communication or critical thinking
skill
which are beneficial for their
lives
.

However
, playing
sports
and taking physical
exercises
could have several downsides which should
be considered
. From the safety perspective, anyone engaging in an extreme
sport
must
take sensible precautions and seek expert advice.
For example
, Paragliding and cliff-jumping are two examples of extreme
sports
in which life-threatening injuries
are sustained
all too
often
by those who
take part
. In order to
reduce
the
risks
associated with
dangerous
sports
, participants should undergo rigorous training and
use
all the essential
sports
gear required.
In addition
, the problem with encouraging
sport
at school is that it fosters a competitive spirit among students,
instead
of teaching children
simply
to do the best that they can in all aspects of life.
Also
, youth
sport
is
being ruined
by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the
rules
in order to achieve victory.

In conclusion
, although playing
sports
and taking regular
exercise
bring numerous advantages,
people
should be aware of its disadvantages and take the appropriate methods.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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