Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises. v.2

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises. v. 2
It is true that taking up regular exercises and playing sports is of importance to stay healthy. These physical activities bring both various potential benefits and several drawbacks to our lives. It is essential that people should do plenty of exercise which could help build a healthy lifestyle in our fast-paced life nowadays. Firstly, while taking gentle exercises such as jogging in the park could improve physical strength, alternative forms of exercise like Tai chi, Qigong or Yoga could be a cure for mental health. These practices popular among people of all ages are effective ways to combat stress after a long hard-working day. Secondly, taking part in indoor or outdoor exercise in which there have been numerous members involving would be opportunities to form friendship and have social interactions. In fact, the likelihood of people developing a sedentary lifestyle and being isolated from communities is high since they spend many hours browsing social networking sites without a care in the world. By contrast, not only can enrol in sports clubs or working out at the gym encourage people to have direct interactions, but also develop social skills such as communication or critical thinking skill which are beneficial for their lives. However, playing sports and taking physical exercises could have several downsides which should be considered. From the safety perspective, anyone engaging in an extreme sport must take sensible precautions and seek expert advice. For example, Paragliding and cliff-jumping are two examples of extreme sports in which life-threatening injuries are sustained all too often by those who take part. In order to reduce the risks associated with dangerous sports, participants should undergo rigorous training and use all the essential sports gear required. In addition, the problem with encouraging sport at school is that it fosters a competitive spirit among students, instead of teaching children simply to do the best that they can in all aspects of life. Also, youth sport is being ruined by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the rules in order to achieve victory. In conclusion, although playing sports and taking regular exercise bring numerous advantages, people should be aware of its disadvantages and take the appropriate methods.
It is true that taking up regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is of importance to stay healthy. These physical activities bring both various potential benefits and several drawbacks to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

It is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build a healthy lifestyle in our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced life nowadays.
Firstly
, while taking gentle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
such as jogging in the park could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
physical strength, alternative forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
like Tai chi,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Qigong
or Yoga could be a cure for mental health. These practices popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages are effective ways to combat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day.
Secondly
, taking part in indoor or outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in which there have been numerous members involving would be opportunities to form friendship and have social interactions. In fact, the likelihood of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
developing a sedentary lifestyle and
being isolated
from communities is high since they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours browsing social networking sites without a care in the world. By contrast, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can enrol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs or working out at the gym encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have direct interactions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication or critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which are beneficial for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

However
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and taking physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
could have several downsides which should
be considered
. From the safety perspective, anyone engaging in an extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take sensible precautions and seek expert advice.
For example
, Paragliding and cliff-jumping are two examples of extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in which life-threatening injuries
are sustained
all too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
by those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, participants should undergo rigorous training and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
gear required.
In addition
, the problem with encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
at school is that it fosters a competitive spirit among students,
instead
of teaching children
simply
to do the best that they can in all aspects of life.
Also
, youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
being ruined
by a win-at-all-costs attitude, which includes cheating and breaking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in order to achieve victory.

In conclusion
, although playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and taking regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
bring numerous advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be aware of its disadvantages and take the appropriate methods.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts