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Caring for children is important things of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Caring for children is important things of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. v. 1
Nourishment of children in a better way is very crucial in the society. It is considered that all parents must opt training courses of childcare. However, I do not agree with this statement, and I believe that instead of taking training courses, both parents should do efforts for better nourishment of their children at home. To begin with, the main reason to support my view is that nowadays, both parents have became workaholic and they do not have enough free time. If they take training courses of childcare, then they find it burdensome on their mind because they have to go for courses after coming from jobs and in this situation they will be enable to spend time with their children. Consequently, they will not do anything to take care about their children. Therefore, I believe that parents should spend quality time with their children rather than wasting time on training courses and within this time they should teach essential skills such as cooperation, coordination, teamwork, politeness, which will be useful in their child's future. In future if Children have good manners then obviously parents will be considered as world's best caring parents. Additionally, parents should also support their children in any situation (emergency, failure in exam or competition) and they should motivate them time to time. Thus, children will acquire a lot of confidence to achieve their goals. It is believed that joint family is the key factor for nurturing children. This is because that every member of a family have different own ways to look after the children and they put certain efforts by own self. Children have to learn different opinions from every family member. For instance, only grandparents can impart moral values among children. Therefore, children and parents should live in joint family instead of living alone. In conclusion, it seems to me that parents should spend time with their childs, and they should also live in joint family for better caring of children without wasting time on training courses.
Nourishment of
children
in a better way is
very
crucial in the society. It
is considered
that all
parents
must
opt
training
courses
of childcare.
However
, I do not
agree
with this statement, and I believe that
instead
of taking
training
courses
, both
parents
should do efforts for better nourishment of their
children
at home.

To
begin
with, the main reason to support my view is that nowadays, both
parents
have
became
workaholic and
they do not have
enough
free
time
. If they take
training
courses
of childcare, then they find it burdensome on their mind
because
they
have to
go for
courses
after coming from jobs and in this situation they will be
enable
to spend
time
with their
children
.
Consequently
, they will not do anything to take care about their
children
.
Therefore
, I believe that
parents
should spend quality
time
with their
children
rather
than wasting
time
on
training
courses
and within this
time
they should teach essential
skills
such as cooperation, coordination, teamwork, politeness, which will be useful in their child's future. In future if
Children
have
good
manners then
obviously
parents
will
be considered
as world's best caring parents.

Additionally
,
parents
should
also
support their
children
in any situation (emergency, failure in exam or competition) and they should motivate them
time
to
time
.
Thus
,
children
will acquire
a lot of
confidence to achieve their goals. It
is believed
that joint
family
is the key factor for nurturing
children
. This is
because
that every member of a
family
have
different
own
ways to look after the
children and
they put certain efforts by
own
self.
Children
have to
learn
different
opinions from every
family
member.
For instance
,
only
grandparents can impart moral values among
children
.
Therefore
,
children
and
parents
should
live
in joint
family
instead
of living alone.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
parents
should spend
time
with their
childs
, and they should
also
live
in joint
family
for better caring of
children
without wasting
time
on
training
courses
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Caring for children is important things of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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