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Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. with this view? v. 5
It is true that parenting is possibly one of the most significant aspect of our society. I partly agree that attending parenting sessions might be helpful, but it does not guarantee successful upbringing. Also, it should not be by force. There are a variety of reasons why taking a course might be important for parenting. Firstly, the majority of parents nowadays are young and inexperienced. They may need to take classes so that they can bring up children in the proper way. Secondly, most fathers and mothers hardly have time for their children because of their busy schedules. By learning to properly manage their time and maximizing the little time they have with their children, they can train them appropriately. Finally, children have different behaviours and responses to training. For example, the first child of a family might be more receptive than the last child. Attending courses on child training might help parents know how to handle such cases. However, I believe parenting courses is not the best approach to proper parenting and should be optional. Parents generally have the right to bring up their children in the way they feel is best and should decide if they want to attend such classes or not. Futhermore making parents attend these courses does not mean that children will turn out to be well behaved. For example, in the west, there are a lot of ideas and ideals of parenting which is applied by several parents. This has however had little or no influence on whom their children become in future. In conclusion, I believe that teaching parents on how to properly train their child might be helpful to some extent. This, however, should not be compulsory and does not determine whom a child will turn out to be.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
is
possibly
one of the most significant aspect of our society. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
sessions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be helpful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not guarantee successful upbringing.
Also
, it should not be by force.

There are a variety of reasons why taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
.
Firstly
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nowadays are young and inexperienced. They may need to take classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the proper way.
Secondly
, most fathers and mothers hardly have time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their busy schedules. By learning to
properly
manage their time and maximizing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time they have with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they can train them
appropriately
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and responses to training.
For example
, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
of a family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be more receptive than the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know how to handle such cases.

However
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is not the best approach to proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
and should be optional.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
generally
have the right to bring up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the way they feel is best and should decide if they want to attend such classes or not.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will turn out to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
.
For example
, in the west, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and ideals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
which
is applied
by several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This has
however
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no influence on whom their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

In conclusion
, I believe that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
on how to
properly
train their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be helpful to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. This,
however
, should not be compulsory and does not determine whom a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will turn out to be.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. with this view? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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