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People believe that these days there is a general increase in anti-social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this? v.1

People believe that these days there is a general increase in anti-social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this? v. 1
At present, it is thought by many that there has been a rapid rise in the poor attitude and unacceptable manners shown to others in the society. This is due to the lack of proper guidance of young generation from families. One way to resolve this issue is the proper education of kids about basic public etiquette. One significant reason for the higher incidents of poor behaviour is the lack of attention from family members on the upbringing of their younger ones. These unattended kids therefore do not learn the proper ways of social conduct. For Example, in a recent survey conducted by Oxford University, it was reported that among all cases of ill manners, almost 80% are accounted from children who are neglected by their elders. The main reason for this extreme pressure from work, and increasing addiction to social media as people spend negligible time with their family members. Therefore, one good way to tackle this problem is that people should spend more time with their little ones, and should monitor their public attitude closely. This will help in avoiding the development of ill manners among them. In addition, inclusion of grandparents in kids upbringing automatically imparts the sense of proper regards for others. For Instance, in a recent experiment conducted by a Chinese University, it was revealed that children from joint families tend to make good and responsible citizens than the ones brought up in nuclear families. Thus, guardians are encouraged to monitor their wards all times. In conclusion, even though incidences of disrespect among the population are on the surge, timely interventions from guardians towards their broods can help in development of respectable people in the society.
At present, it is
thought
by
many
that there has been a rapid rise in the poor attitude and unacceptable manners shown to others in the society. This is due to the lack of
proper
guidance of young generation from
families
. One way to resolve this issue is the
proper
education of kids about basic public etiquette.

One significant reason for the higher incidents of poor
behaviour
is the lack of attention from
family
members on the upbringing of their younger
ones
. These unattended kids
therefore
do not learn the
proper
ways of social conduct.
For Example
, in a recent survey conducted by Oxford University, it
was reported
that among all cases of ill manners, almost 80%
are accounted
from children who
are neglected
by their elders. The main reason for this extreme pressure from work, and increasing addiction to social media as
people
spend negligible time with their
family
members.

Therefore
, one
good
way to tackle this problem is that
people
should spend more time with their
little
ones
, and should monitor their public attitude
closely
. This will
help
in avoiding the development of ill manners among them.
In addition
, inclusion of grandparents in kids upbringing
automatically
imparts the sense of
proper
regards for others.
For Instance
, in a recent experiment conducted by a Chinese University, it
was revealed
that children from joint
families
tend to
make
good
and responsible citizens than the
ones
brought up in nuclear
families
.
Thus
, guardians
are encouraged
to monitor their wards all times.

In conclusion
,
even though
incidences of disrespect among the population are on the surge, timely interventions from guardians towards their broods can
help
in development of respectable
people
in the society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay People believe that these days there is a general increase in anti-social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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