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People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled? v.6

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled? v. 6
In today's world, urban life has been associated with both positive and negative issues. Although it is believed that those who live in big cities experience several troubles daily. I consider the statement to be true and will highlight points to explain why and also, how it can be resolved. On the one hand, there are several problems people who live in large cities go through in their daily lives. For example, recently a study proved that in New York city, which is one of the most populated cities in the world, housing is an issue as people find it difficult to easily secure accommodation. Secondly, The traffic jam is another major concern as it inhibits free movement due to congestion and the fumes emitting from cars in the traffic pose serious health challenges especially later on in life. However, these large cities make it easy for people to find jobs job due to the crowd. On the other hand, some people think if there is a plan to decentralize the city and people spread out, the accommodation problem can be resolved. For instance, most large cities are concentrated on a spot. The roads should be extended and alternative routes created to tackle the traffic. Furthermore, it would reduce the amount of carbon mono-oxide people inhale daily leading to fresher air and improved lives. In conclusion, As much as It is known that people who live in the big cities face several problems. In my opinion, I believe expansion is a key factor in tackling them. With these solutions, people can live happier and healthier.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, urban life has
been associated
with both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it
is believed
that those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
experience several troubles daily. I consider the statement to be true and will highlight points to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why and
also
, how it can
be resolved
.

On the one hand, there are several problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
go through in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
, recently a study proved that in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
, which is one of the most populated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the world, housing is an issue as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it difficult to
easily
secure accommodation.
Secondly
, The traffic jam is another major concern as it inhibits free movement due to congestion and the fumes emitting from cars in the traffic pose serious health challenges
especially
later on in life.
However
, these large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find jobs job due to the crowd.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if there is a plan to decentralize the city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spread out, the accommodation problem can
be resolved
.
For instance
, most large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are concentrated
on a spot. The roads should
be extended
and alternative routes created to tackle the traffic.
Furthermore
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of carbon mono-oxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inhale daily leading to fresher air and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, As much as It
is known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
face several problems. In my opinion, I believe expansion is a key factor in tackling them. With these solutions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
happier and healthier.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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