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Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.3

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. with this view? v. 3
It is true that parents shoulder a huge responsibility while bringing up their children and raising a child is not an easy task. However, I completely disagree with the idea that all parents must take parenting training while raising their children. In my opinion, the idea of all future parents should take a parenting class is impractical. Most prospective parents have jobs and busy schedules, and they may not be willing to attend such classes. This raises the question of whether parents would be punished if they didn't attend the course. This would be completely incorrect, therefore obliging parents to take such classes would be impractical. Besides, even if parents attended the classes, it would be too difficult to decide a course syllabus that fits everyone because every individual has a different mindset. As well as being impractical, I would agree that training courses would be useless. Mothers and fathers have been raising their children for thousands of years without any obligatory course. Parenting skills are partly learnt by older generations, neighbours, even friends. Perhaps more importantly, parents are learning parenting skills from their children. One could ask how this is possible? The answer is that parents develop different kinds of strategies for raising their children. They start trying some of them on their children, and eventually they know which one fits for both themselves and their children thanks to the responses of their children towards those strategies. None of those mentioned in this paragraph needs the implementation of compulsory taught course. In summary, while raising a child could be tough sometimes for the parents, they can always find a way rather than a parenting course to tackle with the problems.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
shoulder a huge responsibility while bringing up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
a child is not an easy task.
However
, I completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
their children.

In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of all future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is impractical. Most prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have jobs and busy schedules, and they may not be willing to attend such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. This raises
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
be punished
if they didn't attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. This would be completely incorrect,
therefore
obliging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
would be impractical.
Besides
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
attended the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, it would be too difficult to decide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
syllabus that fits everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every individual has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindset.

As well
as being impractical, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
would be useless. Mothers and fathers have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for thousands of years without any obligatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are partly
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by older generations,
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, even friends. Perhaps more
importantly
,
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parents
are learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One could ask how this is possible? The answer is that
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parents
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of strategies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
trying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and
eventually
they know which one fits for both themselves and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
thanks to the responses of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
towards those strategies. None of those mentioned in this paragraph needs the implementation of compulsory taught course.

In summary, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
a child could be tough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they can always find a way
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
to tackle with the problems.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. with this view? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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