Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Campus Dining Club AnnouncedStarting this year, the university dining hall will be transformed into The Campus Dining Club for one week at the end of each semester. During the last week of each semester, the dining hall will feature special meals prepared v.1

Campus Dining Club AnnouncedStarting this year, the university dining hall will be transformed into The Campus Dining Club for one week at the end of each semester. During the last week of each semester, the dining hall will feature special meals prepared v. 1
Nowadays, many people are moving from rural areas to the cities seeking better jobs and quality of life. There are several ill effects of this increased urbanization. In this essay, I will discuss some of the effects of decreasing population in villages and also suggest solutions to stop this migration. To begin with, as increased number of people move away from the country-side, it leads to reduced agriculture and farming. Undoubtedly, villages are ideal places for growing food with less pollution and clean water. As number of citizens leave to urban areas, lesser number of people are there to grow plants and rear animals. However, this can be stopped by government’s providing subsidies and privileges to farmers. In evidence to this, in India urbanization increases during the years when farmers can’t make profit from growing vegetables. If this situation can be changed to make this occupation profitable, people would not think of leaving their hometown. On the other hand, as people migrate to urban places, the culture and heritage of rural areas get lost. For example, the rich history of most countries lie with their Inuit people and their settlements. Moving away from their place means slowly losing this cultural heritage. To preserve this treasure, museums and heritage centres can be opened in the remote areas. Eventually, this will foster tourism in these sections, opening new job opportunities and economic stimulus. This would develop the rural areas and people would prefer to live in their own places. To summarize, as people increasingly prefer to settle in developing urban areas, the nativity from rural areas get lost. However, this can be fixed by developing more job opportunities and making the villages, economically active places of a country.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to the cities seeking better jobs and quality of life. There are several ill effects of this increased urbanization. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
effects of decreasing population in villages and
also
suggest solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this migration.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from the country-side, it leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
agriculture and farming.
Undoubtedly
, villages are ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for growing food with less pollution and clean water. As number of citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, lesser number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are there to grow plants and rear animals.
However
, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s providing subsidies and privileges to farmers. In evidence to this, in India urbanization increases during the years when farmers can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit from growing vegetables. If this situation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this occupation profitable,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of leaving their hometown.

On the other hand
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, the culture and heritage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost.
For example
, the rich history of most countries lie with their Inuit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their settlements. Moving away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
means
slowly
losing this cultural heritage. To preserve this treasure, museums and heritage
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
can
be opened
in the remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Eventually
, this will foster tourism in these sections, opening new job opportunities and economic stimulus. This would develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
places.

To summarize
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increasingly
prefer to settle in developing urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the nativity from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost.
However
, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
by developing more job opportunities and making the villages,
economically
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of a country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Campus Dining Club AnnouncedStarting this year, the university dining hall will be transformed into The Campus Dining Club for one week at the end of each semester. During the last week of each semester, the dining hall will feature special meals prepared v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts