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By punishing murderers with death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

By punishing murderers with death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. with this statement? v. 1
Punishing murderers or any criminals is an important law that needs to be in practice by a country. By giving a verdict of death penalty to a murderer, society is not guilty of committing murder, but rather it is rising as a role model to the people by punishing the wrongdoers. Murder is a serious offence and the accused has done some serious damage. When a person commits a murder, he/she is not only killing a person, but rather they are destroying the whole family of the victim. I believe that even the person who was found guilty have to go through the same situation that he has forced on the victim. This way the family of the victim can get justice. By giving a death penalty to the accused, society is creating a fragment of fear in people who has some of the similar ideas. This way those people who wanted to commit murder will hesitate to do so. I would like to share an example, which had happened last year. An elderly man in our village has a tendency of taking revenge on anyone who opposes him. He would go to any extent to get his job done. There was a debate that took place last year where he was totally destroyed by the opposition candidate. This man was unable to digest this fact and had planned to take his revenge by killing the person who humiliated him. So, as per his plan, he stabbed the other person and took his life. He got captured by the local police and was issued a death penalty by the court. This incident had shaken the very roots of the village and the neighbouring regions and from that day onwards, not even a single person has spoken any word that gives the meaning “murder”. In conclusion, murderers need to be punished by death penalty rather than giving a life sentence and feed them from the taxes that are taken from the common people including the family of the victims. This saves a lot of money and time.
Punishing murderers or any criminals is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
law that needs to be in practice by a country. By giving a verdict of death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
to a murderer, society is not guilty of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murder
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
it is rising as a role model to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by punishing the wrongdoers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Murder
is a serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and the accused has done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious damage.

When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
commits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murder
, he/she is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
killing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
they are destroying the whole family of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
. I believe that even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was found
guilty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through the same situation that he has forced on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
. This way the family of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
justice. By giving a death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
to the accused, society is creating a fragment of fear in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. This way those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wanted to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murder
will hesitate to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

I would like to share an example, which had happened last year. An elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in our village has a tendency of taking revenge on anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
opposes him. He would go to any extent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
his job done. There was a debate that took place last
It is better to use 'year' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "year when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
year where
he was
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by the opposition candidate. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was unable to digest this fact and had planned to take his revenge by killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
humiliated him.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as per his plan, he stabbed the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and took his life. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
captured by the local police and
was issued
a death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
by the court. This incident had shaken the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
roots of the village and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
regions and from that day onwards, not even a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has spoken any word that gives the meaning “murder”.

In conclusion
, murderers need to
be punished
by death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
rather
than giving a life sentence and feed them from the taxes that
are taken
from the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including the family of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
. This saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and time.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay By punishing murderers with death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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