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By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. with this statement? v. 2
The death penalty is one of the methods to punish murderers but because this method involves with killing, it can also consider as committing a crime. Thus, some people claim that, the most effective method is the life sentence. In my opinion, even though I agree with the opinion for the death penalty will lead to another criminal acts, I disagree with the statement of life in prison is the most effective punishment. Because the current prison systems are not effective as its theory. Hence, we should look for other alternative method to punish those criminals. Some people could claim that, the death penalty is the most effective way to reduce crime rates, however I believe this is not the case. There are various ways to punish criminals and it can be difficult to say that the death penalty is the most effective method because it is murdering the criminals. The feeling of relief and satisfaction by killing the criminals (murderers) in an instance is a short term reward. By killing the murderers will not bring the victims back to a life. Therefore, instead of looking for the short term gratification of killing murderers in an instance, people can look for other alternative methods. One of those alternative methods is the life sentence in prison. However, due to the ineffectiveness of current prison system, the life in prison will not be effective. Currently, all prisons are created to be well facilitated with having roommates that can provide the comforts to prisoners. With all these comfortable facilities and roommates, prisoners can learn more about criminal acts. By sharing the information about the next crimes, prisoners can form a gang to rule the whole prison cells and this could result in catastrophic consequences of having a gang fight. Since the main purpose of prisons is educating criminals for wrong doing behaviours and admitting the past mistakes to live in a regretful lives, the current systems in prison is luxurious. So that life in prison cannot be the most suitable method to punish criminals. Since all the methods that are currently available do not suit for punish criminals, people should create a new form of systems under some concepts. The concepts must include of the purpose of punishing criminals and the nature of punishment should not be interfering with the existing laws. The death penalty is committing of murders and whereas life in prison is not suitable with the punishing purposes. People have invented with new criminal laws and by frequently updated, I believe we can create suitable punishment systems that could fit the criteria of punishment once for all. In conclusion, despite the capital punishment can be seemed as the most effective punishment for some people, it cannot deny that this is against the criminal law since it acts of murders. The other possible answer appears to be the life in prison, but this also not the most suitable approach to be used for the malfunction with the current systems. Since we have not found the most suitable approaches to punish criminals, we should continue to seek for the alternatives.
The death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is one of the
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methods
to
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punish
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murderers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
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method
involves with
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killing
, it can
also
consider as committing a crime.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
claim that, the most
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effective
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method
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
sentence. In my opinion,
even though
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion for the death
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penalty
will lead to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
acts, I disagree with the statement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
are not
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effective
as its theory.
Hence
, we should look for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
those criminals.

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Some
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people
could claim that, the death
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penalty
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime rates,
however
I believe this is not the case. There are various ways to
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punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and it can be difficult to say that the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is murdering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. The feeling of relief and satisfaction by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(murderers)
in an instance is a short term reward. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murderers
will not bring the victims back to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
,
instead
of looking for the short term gratification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murderers
in an instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can look for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
methods.

One of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
sentence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
However
, due to the ineffectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
.
Currently
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are created
to be well facilitated with having roommates that can provide the comforts to prisoners. With all these comfortable facilities and roommates, prisoners can learn more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
acts. By sharing the information about the
next
crimes, prisoners can form a gang to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
cells and this could result in catastrophic consequences of having a gang fight. Since the main purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
is educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and admitting the past mistakes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a regretful
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "life"?
lives
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is luxurious.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
cannot be the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
criminals.

Since all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
that are
currently
available do not suit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should create a new form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concepts. The concepts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include of the purpose of punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should not be interfering with the existing laws. The death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is committing of murders and whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
with the punishing purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have invented with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
laws and by
frequently
updated, I believe we can create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
that could fit the criteria of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
once for all.

In conclusion
, despite the capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can
be seemed
as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it cannot deny that this is against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
law since it acts of murders. The other possible answer appears to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
also
not the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
approach to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the malfunction with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
. Since we have not found the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
approaches to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, we should continue to seek for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
96Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
518 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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