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Some people say that good diet and regular exercise are not necessary for a long and healthy life. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that good diet and regular exercise are not necessary for a long and healthy life. v. 1
In the contemporary world, media play a crucial role in everyone's life. Some people think that media, mainly emphasis on problems rather than providing any advancement. I totally disagree with the given statement that the media is not good for development. I shall analyse my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraphs. Media have an enormous advantage. The first and foremost is that through the media people can connect with all over the world which can strengthen the relationship between different nations. The second merits of media is that people can know about what is happening all around them, so the media can also provide the people's safety. Therefore, it also contribute to the improvement of the nation. On the other hand, the media has also some dark sides. Firstly, all news are not always true as the media tell us so it can create some misunderstanding between people. That means problems can be worse. Secondly, it creates that type of news in which individuals are more interested. However, it does not care about emotions and feelings of others. For example, if the media are exploring all the things related to some crimes, it will definitely affect the children's behaviour if they are watching all these kind of things. Thus, it can provide more issues rather than solving them. In conclusion, it can be said that the media have positive as well as negative sides. It depends upon the people how they can use it in a position way or negative way to concentrate on the progress rather than problems.
In the contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play a crucial role in everyone's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
mainly
emphasis on problems
rather
than providing any advancement. I
totally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for development. I shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
my viewpoint in the upcoming paragraphs.

Media have an enormous advantage. The
first
and foremost is that through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect with all over the world which can strengthen the relationship between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations. The second merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can know about what is happening all around them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can
also
provide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's safety.
Therefore
, it
also
Did you mean "contributes"?
contribute
to the improvement of the nation.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dark sides.
Firstly
, all news are not always true as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
misunderstanding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That means problems can be worse.
Secondly
, it creates that type of news in which individuals are more interested.
However
, it does not care about emotions and feelings of others.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are exploring all the things related to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crimes, it will definitely affect the children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
if they are watching all
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of things.
Thus
, it can provide more issues
rather
than solving them.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides. It depends upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in a position way or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way to concentrate on the progress
rather
than problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people say that good diet and regular exercise are not necessary for a long and healthy life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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