Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.9

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 9
Over the last few years, online shopping becomes a top trend, as an increasing number of people buying goods and services through the internet. While there are some evident drawbacks of such activity, I opine that the benefits of this tendency are greater in numbers. The Internet has changed the way people purchasing goods and services. One obvious drawback of such activity is the deliverance of poor quality materials. This is because when the customer orders electronically, they might unable to physically inspect the quality and the quantity of the products, which is an essential part of trading, and this could lead to a severe problem for them later on. To illustrate, there is ongoing litigation against eBay Incorporation about the delivery of expiry food, which caused serious injury to its customer. Nevertheless, the drawbacks, people are facing from e-commerce are overshadowed by its advantages. One prominent benefit is people can save a considerable amount of time and effort by simply order their goods while sitting at home. The time which they save could be spent on other household activities. Furthermore, people can buy products and services at a very competitive price. This is usually because of such an online store purchasing goods in bulk quantity from the factory at a fairly lower price so that they can offer to their customers at a bargain price. For example, Amazon currently offering their customer flat 50% discounts on books and other reading materials. In conclusion, while people still facing difficulties in respect of the quality of online products, I believe the drawbacks are eclipsed by it the benefits such as time-saving and cost-effectiveness.
Over the last few years, online shopping becomes a top trend, as an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services through the internet. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
of such activity, I opine that the benefits of this tendency are greater in numbers.

The Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services. One obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
of such activity is the deliverance of poor quality materials. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the customer orders
electronically
, they
Did you mean "might be unable"?
might unable
to
physically
inspect the quality and the quantity of the products, which is an essential part of trading, and this could lead to a severe problem for them later on. To illustrate, there is ongoing litigation against eBay Incorporation about the delivery of expiry food, which caused serious injury to its customer.

Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing from e-commerce
are overshadowed
by its advantages. One prominent benefit is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save a considerable amount of time and effort by
simply
order their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
while sitting at home. The time which they save could
be spent
on other household activities.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products and services at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive price. This is
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of such an online store purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in bulk quantity from the factory at a
fairly
lower price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can offer to their customers at a bargain price.
For example
, Amazon
currently
offering their customer flat 50% discounts on books and other reading materials.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
facing difficulties in respect of the quality of online products, I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
are eclipsed
by it the benefits such as time-saving and cost-effectiveness.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts