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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.37

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 37
Purchasing products such as books, air tickets or groceries is becoming a common trend nowadays. Personally, I totally agree that this activity brings back more positive than negative. On the one hand, this type of trading has just become a tendency since it provides numerous benefits for customers. For one thing, the worth mentioning here is that buying online is not only handy but also time-saving. Instead of going directly to the shop, people can easily choose their favourite products at home and with some clicks, they can receive the items in several days. Furthermore, to address the situation that customers buy things which are not suitable such as ill-fitting clothes or faulty hardware, numerous delivery brands accept the returning process at a prescribed time to meet the customer’s needs. Finally, all the shops are developing online selling programs to attract clients now. With a hard competition in the market share, these days, a great number of marketing campaigns like discount codes or buy one get one were launched which provide a lower price for customers than in real stores. On the other hand, it is sometimes seen that online shops can give poor customer service. For instance, some buyers find it difficult to contact online sellers or, occasionally, they reply hastily. Additionally, statistics have shown that many frauds have happened due to cybercrime. Criminals will act as if they are selling goods and find any ways to make you transfer money to them. As a result, you will receive nothing or the product that you do not order before. To sum up, online shopping offers the public some great benefits, provided that people need to find reliable sources and be aware of potential dangers before buying anything.
Purchasing products such as books, air tickets or groceries is becoming a common trend nowadays.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this activity brings back more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

On the one hand, this type of trading has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
become a tendency since it provides numerous benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. For one thing, the worth mentioning here is that buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
handy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
time-saving.
Instead
of going
directly
to the shop,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
choose their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
products at home and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clicks, they can receive the items in several days.
Furthermore
, to address the situation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which are not suitable such as ill-fitting clothes or faulty hardware, numerous delivery brands accept the returning process at a prescribed time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer’s
needs.
Finally
, all the shops are developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
selling programs to attract clients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. With a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
competition in the market share, these days, a great number of marketing campaigns like discount codes or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one
were launched
which provide a lower price for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
than in real stores.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops can give poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
service.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
buyers find it difficult to contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sellers or,
occasionally
, they reply
hastily
.
Additionally
, statistics have shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
frauds have happened due to cybercrime. Criminals will act as if they are selling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and find any ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you transfer money to them.
As a result
, you will receive nothing or the product that you do not order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping offers the public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great benefits, provided that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to find reliable sources and be aware of potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying anything.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 37

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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