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Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way out weigh the disadvantages? v.34

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way out weigh the disadvantages? v. 34
Shopping items like books, air tickets and groceries online is gaining popularity. This essay will discuss that the benefits of this trend outweigh the draw back. To begin with, delivering of inferior products to customers is one of the cons of internet shopping. This occurs because, buyers often order for goods through pictures that are viewed on the net. Therefore, the items desired are not felt before buying, hence in some scenarios what is delivered is of less quality or even different from the online sample. To illustrate, recently a friend ordered for some items via a virtual store, the items delivered were of lesser quality and different from what she envisaged. However, shopping on the internet has some pros over high-Street stores. Firstly, there is ease of access. Usually, a range of groceries and they can be ordered from anywhere provided there is an internet network. Also, after ordering they are delivered to a stated location of the buyer, therefore, people do not need to move from one store to another and face traffics when shopping. For instance, during a campus survey, several scholars agreed that virtual shopping makes campus shopping easy because they can purchase a range of products from their hostels. Secondly, it is time saving. This can be seen in the case of buying a flight ticket, travellers can buy tickets online, and conclude on travel arrangements. Therefore, on arrival at the airport, booking is already confirmed, thus, time is saved and desired flight is not missed. For example, when passengers were asked which method of flight booking are more favourable, majority of air-peace commuters stated that they pay for tickets online. In conclusion, although shopping online has a demerit like delivering of products with less quality, the merits outweighs the drawback and includes easy accessibility and saving an individual's time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
like books, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
and groceries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is gaining popularity. This essay will discuss that the benefits of this trend outweigh the draw back.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, delivering of inferior products to customers is one of the cons of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. This occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, buyers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
order for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
through pictures that
are viewed
on the net.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
desired are not felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying,
hence
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scenarios what
is delivered
is of less quality or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sample. To illustrate, recently a friend ordered for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
via a virtual store, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
delivered were of lesser quality and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what she envisaged.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros over high-Street stores.
Firstly
, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access.
Usually
, a range of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
groceries and
they can
be ordered
from anywhere provided there is an internet network.
Also
, after ordering they
are delivered
to a stated location of the buyer,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one store to another and face traffics when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
For instance
, during a campus survey, several scholars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
campus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a range of products from their hostels.

Secondly
, it is time saving. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the case of buying a flight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, and conclude on travel arrangements.
Therefore
, on arrival at the airport, booking is already confirmed,
thus
, time
is saved
and desired flight is not missed.
For example
, when passengers
were asked
which method of flight booking are more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
air-peace commuters stated that they pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
online.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has a demerit like delivering of products with less quality, the merits outweighs the drawback and includes easy accessibility and saving an individual's time
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way out weigh the disadvantages? v. 34

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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