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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.33

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 33
The transition from going to supermarket to buying things online is quite popular across the world. It is a common practice for the consumers now to purchase things like food products, clothes, bus passes etc. Via internet. Anything that is required is just a click away from us. Like every phenomenon, this too has its own pros and cons. Still, I believe that the advantages of online purchase are far superior than the disadvantages. First of all, in most of the families, both parents are working and it is very tough to find out a good amount of time to go to the supermarket. As a result, internet shopping is becoming the favourite of everyone. Also, wide variety of products are available on the net, at a very reasonable price. For instance, if someone has to purchase a jeans, it can be easily done by selecting the size and colour, various options pop up on the screen instantly. Similarly, if one is planning a vacation, it is very easy to book the tickets for travel and hotel. Actual pictures of the products, services attract the purchaser more efficiently. On the darker side, sometimes the output is totally different from what is shown on the website. In such cases, the customer feels cheated. But, like every issue, this too has a solution. One can give the review against the product and services, which definitely helps the future prospects. In addition to this, companies have the exchange policy, provided one applies for it within the predefined timeline. In conclusion, it is very crucial for all of us to adapt to the new technologies available and move forward in life. Online shopping is one such thing. Keeping aside, certain drawbacks this definitely makes life easier for everyone.
The transition from going to supermarket to buying things online is quite popular across the world. It is a common practice for the consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things like food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, clothes, bus passes etc. Via internet. Anything that
is required
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click away from us. Like every phenomenon, this too has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
Still
, I believe that the advantages of online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
are far
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
the disadvantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in most of the families, both parents are working and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tough to find out a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of time to go to the supermarket.
As a result
, internet shopping is becoming the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
of everyone.
Also
, wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are available on the net, at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reasonable price.
For instance
, if someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a jean" or simply "jeans"?
a jeans
, it can be
easily
done by selecting the size and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, various options pop up on the screen
instantly
.
Similarly
, if one is planning a vacation, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to book the tickets for travel and hotel. Actual pictures of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, services attract the purchaser more
efficiently
.

On the darker side,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the output is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what
is shown
on the website. In such cases, the customer feels cheated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, like every issue, this too has a solution. One can give the review against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and services, which definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the future prospects.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have the exchange policy, provided one applies for it within the predefined timeline.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for all of us to adapt to the new technologies available and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward in life. Online shopping is one such thing. Keeping aside, certain drawbacks this definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easier for everyone.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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