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Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.24

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 24
It is believed that free health facilities should be provided in every nation. However, modern medical services could not be accessible due to the rise of prices through the service. I totally agree with the given statement. This essay will highlight the importance of free care and drawbacks of not getting new medical facilities. To commence with, free treatment is necessary for every part of the nations. This may help the people to stay away from diseases and live a healthy life. In most of the areas, there is not any health post, primary health care centre and hospitals. As a result, children and pregnant mothers can die every year due to malnutrition and complications of pregnancy. Moreover, the people of remote areas can suffer from minor ailments and dead. This is because they cannot afford such an expensive medicine. Hence, free medicines should be provided to those people who cannot afford, especially in the rural areas. Furthermore, with the advancement of technologies and research, rapid growth can be seen in the medical fields. However, new machines are introduced which makes the operation process easy, at the same time, it becomes more and more expensive. Likewise, destitute might cannot be able to access such services due to the scarcity of money. This might increase the mortality and morbidity rate of the nation. To conclude this, every society must be provided services without money for the development of the state. In addition, new medical treatment should be devoted to the patients in low price. This could help to enlarge the life expectancy rate of the citizen.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
health facilities should
be provided
in every nation.
However
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
could not be accessible due to the rise of prices through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. This essay will highlight the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
care and drawbacks of not getting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
treatment is necessary for every part of the nations. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay away from diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life. In most of the areas, there is not any health post, primary health care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and hospitals.
As a result
, children and pregnant mothers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
every year due to malnutrition and complications of pregnancy.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of remote areas can suffer from minor ailments and dead. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot afford such an expensive medicine.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medicines should
be provided
to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot afford,
especially
in the rural areas.

Furthermore
, with the advancement of technologies and research, rapid growth can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
fields.
However
, new machines
are introduced
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the operation process easy, at the same time, it becomes more and more expensive.
Likewise
, destitute might cannot be able to access such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
due to the scarcity of money. This might increase the mortality and morbidity rate of the nation.

To conclude
this, every society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
without money for the development of the state.
In addition
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment should
be devoted
to the patients in low price. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enlarge the life expectancy rate of the citizen.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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