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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own kn v.31

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? 31
Many people these days immigrate to different countries in search of job opportunities, better education and quality lifestyle. However, some people believe that this free movement of migrants must be restricted while others say it must not be regulated. I strongly agree that, nations' borders must remain open to legal migrants and people must have the right to work and settle in any country of their choice. This essay would discuss how the advantages outweigh the negative impact of people, belonging to different geographical locations, settling in a particular country. One hand, individuals from different caste, community, race living in a particular location would lead to an ethnic diversity. Such diversity may lead to disharmony amongst the settlers due to differences in their views and upbringing which ultimately leads to racism. Even though racism can have negative implications, in most developed countries, the citizens are far more liberal and this reason, for preventing people from starting new life in a foreign country, feels weak. On the other hand, when people from different geographical locations meet together, they share their experience and learnings. These exposures and teachings can be used to solve major problems of the community, thus contributing towards socioeconomic growth. Even though manpower is a major driving force of any economy, many countries lack lack development due to their unfriendly approach towards immigration, such as Germany and Italy. Countries with manpower shortage are unable to expand their industries due to high labour cost. As a result, many countries, like Canada, promote immigration programs to help other nationals work and settle in their country as it aids in its growth. In conclusion, this essay discussed the primary drawback of causing disharmony amongst citizens, because of foreign individuals settling in the country, falls short against the positive implications such as solving national problems, with the varied experience new immigrants bring with them, and the boost this, increased manpower, provides to the economy. All in all, I strongly agree that people from different nationalities must be allowed to freely travel to other territories and settle in places of their choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days immigrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of job opportunities, better education and quality lifestyle.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this free movement of migrants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be restricted
while others say it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be regulated
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, nations' borders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remain open to legal migrants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have the right to work and settle in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of their choice. This essay would discuss how the advantages outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, belonging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
geographical locations, settling in a particular country.

One hand, individuals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
caste, community, race living in a particular location would lead to an ethnic diversity. Such diversity may lead to disharmony amongst the settlers due to differences in their views and upbringing which
ultimately
leads to racism.
Even though
racism can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications, in most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the citizens are far more liberal and this reason, for preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from starting new life in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, feels weak.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
geographical locations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
together, they share their experience and learnings. These exposures and teachings can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve major problems of the community,
thus
contributing towards socioeconomic growth.
Even though
manpower is a major driving force of any economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Possible typo: you repeated a word
lack lack
development due to their
unfriendly
approach towards immigration, such as Germany and Italy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
with manpower shortage are unable to expand their industries due to high
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cost.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, like Canada, promote immigration programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nationals work and settle in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as it aids in its growth.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the primary drawback of causing disharmony amongst citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of foreign individuals settling in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, falls short against the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications such as solving national problems, with the varied experience new immigrants bring with them, and the boost this, increased manpower, provides to the economy. All in all, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nationalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
freely
travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
territories and settle in places of their choice.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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