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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.27

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 27
Shopping online has become a regularly used method of purchasing goods and services. There are quite a number of challenges that a person can face when using the internet which includes fraud and buying a product different from the advertised goods. In my own view, however, I think there are more advantages to shopping online which includes ease of access to a lot of different services with no need to join a line to receive the services. On one hand, the use of the internet to buy books and groceries can be inconvenient when the person is cheated after making payments. There has been quite a number of cases of online frauds recorded worldwide where people share their account details and their accounts are hacked. In contrast, it resulted in the loss of homes, businesses among other things. Not only are people exposed to danger when goods are bought online, but the quality of the product is unknown and chances of buying low grade produce are very high. On the other hand, purchasing products online comes with ease and comfort of a person's home. It is a fast way of making a transaction and they can avoid long queues and get to purchase their air ticket from anywhere besides the airport. Needless to say that shopping online gives one the advantage of comparing prices of the same product being sold by a number of different shops. Consequently, this results in buying the same book at a much cheaper price. In conclusion, buying different goods and services online is regarded with favour. There are a number of downsides when purchasing online which includes fraud among other things, however the upside of purchasing online is the services are faster and one can avoid crowded areas.
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has become a
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
method of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. There are quite a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of challenges that a person can face when using the internet which includes fraud and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from the advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are more advantages to shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
which includes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
with no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a line to receive the services.

On one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
books and groceries can be inconvenient when the person
is cheated
after making payments. There has been quite a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
frauds recorded worldwide where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
share their account
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and their accounts
are hacked
.
In contrast
, it resulted in the loss of homes, businesses among other things. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
exposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is unknown and chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
low grade produce are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.

On the other hand
, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and comfort of a person's home. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
way of making a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
transaction and
they can avoid long queues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their air ticket from anywhere
besides
the airport. Needless to say that shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
gives one the advantage of comparing prices of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
being sold
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
shops.
Consequently
, this results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
the same book at a much cheaper price.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is regarded
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of downsides when purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
which includes fraud among other things,
however
the upside of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are faster and one can avoid crowded areas.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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