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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.19

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 19
In recent years, the trend of shopping online has been increasing due to its convenience, personally, despite its drawbacks. I would argue that purchasing things on the Internet should be developed on the basis of their evident merits. On the one hand, no business will succeed if it fails to take the needs and location of customers into account so that buying stuff or air tickers not only help many technology companies grow a business, create more chances of jobs but also meet customers' choices. Moreover, the consumer can make the most of time, for example, if they want to buy books through online apps, then they will know the price and whether this book is available or not, so sometimes it causes unsatisfied when going to the bookstore and realizes those books are sold out. On the other hand, consumers find it hard to check the quality of the items they buy. If the items are low-quality or not as expected as they want, they will rarely or never use them, which leads to the waste of money, it also affects the mood of consumers. Furthermore, for the seller, although selling things through the Internet increases profit, there is the one disadvantage that they do not know precisely who buy items. In some cases, consumers give the fake location, and sellers have to be responsible for the items. In conclusion, despite the disadvantages of online shopping, I believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages and that a growing trend of buying online is excellent.
In recent years, the trend of shopping
online
has been increasing due to its convenience,
personally
, despite its drawbacks. I would argue that purchasing things on the Internet should
be developed
on the basis of their evident merits. On the one hand, no business will succeed if it fails to take the needs and location of customers into account
so
that buying stuff or air tickers not
only
help
many
technology
companies
grow a business, create more chances of jobs
but
also
meet
customers' choices.
Moreover
, the consumer can
make
the most of time,
for example
, if they want to
buy
books through
online
apps, then they will know the price and whether this book is available or not,
so
sometimes
it causes unsatisfied when going to the bookstore and realizes those books
are sold
out.
On the other hand
, consumers find it
hard
to
check
the quality of the
items
they
buy
. If the
items
are low-quality or not as
expected
as they want, they will rarely or never
use
them, which leads to the waste of money, it
also
affects the mood of consumers.

Furthermore
, for the seller, although selling things through the Internet increases profit, there is the one disadvantage that they do not know
precisely
who
buy
items
. In
some
cases, consumers give the fake location, and sellers
have to
be responsible for the
items
.
In conclusion
, despite the disadvantages of
online
shopping, I believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages and that a growing trend of buying
online
is excellent.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 19

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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