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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.12

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 12
Purchasing things on the internet is gaining momentum in the recent days. People are being more tech-savvy to buy things on the virtual platform. Though, purchasing products and services bring along some disadvantages, I believe that buying things on online carries a lot of benefits. With the advancement of technology, people have the access to enormous purchase options and that too in one click. In general, it has saved their productive time to visit the stores and bargain. Attractive offers provided by multiple vendors have made the customers smart enough to choose reasonable price options that are pocket-friendly yet qualitative. Due to the globalization, products and services from around the world can reach our doorsteps through the World Wide Web which would have only remained limited had internet not been there. The improvements in cyber-security and digital shopping-portals have enhanced safety options for online purchases and diminishing possible drawbacks associated with it. The concerned authorities keep the track of any sort of crimes related to online shopping like 'Phising', fraud, credit-card theft and others and punish the criminals. There is a good feedback mechanism and stronger online community to place complaints or grievances related to purchase dissatisfaction. The benefits like cash-on-delivery, instalment payments, return back guarantee and similar offers have supported the ease of customers indifferent to down payment. All in all, I personally believe that the popularity of online shopping is gradually overcoming the drawbacks it contains. It has significantly increased the interest of buyers as well as their quantity in the online purchase ranging from cook to book while being safe and smart on the internet.
Purchasing things on the internet is gaining momentum in the recent days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are being more tech-savvy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things on the virtual platform. Though, purchasing products and services bring along
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I believe that buying things on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
carries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits.

With the advancement of technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the access to enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
options and that too in one click.
In general
, it has saved their productive time to visit the stores and bargain. Attractive offers provided by multiple vendors have made the customers smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to choose reasonable price options that are pocket-friendly
yet
qualitative. Due to the globalization, products and services from around the world can reach our doorsteps through the World Wide Web which would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remained limited had internet not been there.

The improvements in cyber-security and digital shopping-portals have enhanced safety options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
and diminishing possible drawbacks associated with it. The concerned authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of any sort of crimes related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping like '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phising
', fraud, credit-card theft
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
and punish the criminals. There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feedback mechanism and stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
community to place complaints or grievances related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
dissatisfaction. The benefits like cash-on-delivery,
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalment' is British English.
instalment
payments,
Consider using "return".
return back
guarantee and similar offers have supported the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of customers indifferent to down payment.

All in all, I
personally
believe that the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is
gradually
overcoming the drawbacks it contains. It has
significantly
increased the interest of buyers
as well
as their quantity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
ranging from cook to book while being safe and smart on the internet.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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