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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.10

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 10
A significant amount of people are more interested in buying goods online, starting from everyday necessities, such as groceries and books, to something occasional, such as air tickets. In my opinion, the main advantage of online shopping is the effectiveness in the term of time spent. However, a consumer should be aware of the scam that possibly happens in every online transaction. Modern life requires everything to be as fast as possible, and shopping through the internet can be one of the answers. In other words, online shopping can save so much time better than offline. For instance, we don't have to prepare to go out of our house just to buy groceries because it can be done at home by accessing the app or the website of the store. Another positive side of online shopping is we can shop from anywhere. In the meantime, we cannot deny the security risk of online shopping. A well-known store will have a trusted website with a guarantee of secure payments. On the other hand, there are many existing websites with the unsecured shopping experience, even worse, to scam consumers. Many people had a bad online shopping experience, this experience can be in the form of a contrast condition between the real goods they ordered and its picture on the internet. To conclude, we may risk more online than offline shopping. In this case, we can minimize the risk by making sure first that we shop from a good reputation website or a trusted seller. Nevertheless, the advantages of shopping through the internet, in general, can outweigh the disadvantages.
A significant amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more interested in buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, starting from everyday necessities, such as groceries and books, to something occasional, such as air tickets. In my opinion, the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the effectiveness in the term of time spent.
However
, a consumer should be aware of the scam that
possibly
happens in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transaction.

Modern life requires everything to be as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
through the internet can be one of the answers.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time better than offline.
For instance
, we don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prepare to go out of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
be done
at home by accessing the app or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
of the store. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is we can shop from anywhere.

In the meantime, we cannot deny the security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. A well-known store will have a trusted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
with a guarantee of secure payments.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
existing websites with the unsecured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience, even worse, to scam consumers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience, this experience can be in the form of a contrast condition between the real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
they ordered and its picture on the internet.

To conclude
, we may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
than offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
In this case
, we can minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
by making sure
first
that we shop from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
or a trusted seller.
Nevertheless
, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
through the internet,
in general
, can outweigh the disadvantages.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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