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Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people don't need new clothes all the time. Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. v.2

Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people don't need new clothes all the time. Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. v. 2
Stylish and branded dresses have significant demand among people in all over the world. While it is highly desirable due to its charm, I believe that outfits should be selected according to one’s necessity and comfort instead of the modern trend. From my point of view, there are few reasons for people to usually want to have new dresses even when they do not need them at all. One of the strong issues behind this is “impression”, which people think embarks by fancy dresses.   Sometimes it has considered as a first and foremost requirement to being up to date, confident and good looking. Apart from this, another indicator that insists people having stylish clothes is the fascination with their favourite celebrities and following their vogue blindly. Keeping up with the latest fashion and to be on trend are two factors people do to attract admirers in many cases. Undoubtedly, these are the factors that drive the world fashion industries and designer labels towards the supreme positions. Despite those reasons, we must admit, a basic need of our life like “cloth” should be purchased more smartly and wisely. Excessive shopping of dresses should be avoided because there are also many productive ways in our life where investing this money and time seem more sensible. For an instance: by cutting the extra budget of useless clothes, one can easily raise a fund for the purpose of entertainment, own a business or can run any kind of charity organisation. Furthermore, one should care about his or her appearance and the particular ambience while selecting a dress. Because it is the real definition of smartness that grabs more attention than modernised open up outfits. Following trendy fashions often contradicts with someone’s native culture and that can lead to social problems. Have a sense of style does not mean that someone has to wear the expensive and latest dresses always. In conclusion, while spending money, time and energy for having useless dresses just to show off and attract attentions, I believe utilisation of these elements in other creative areas and choosing comfortable clothes are far more reasonable.
Stylish and branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
have significant demand among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all over the world. While it is
highly
desirable due to its charm, I believe that outfits should
be selected
according to one’s necessity and comfort
instead
of the modern trend.

From my point of view, there are few reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
usually
want to have new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
even when they do not need them at all. One of the strong issues behind this is “impression”, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
embarks by fancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it has considered as a
first
and foremost requirement to being up to date, confident and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
. Apart from this, another indicator that insists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having stylish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
is the fascination with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrities and following their vogue
blindly
. Keeping up with the latest fashion and to be on trend are two factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do to attract admirers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases.
Undoubtedly
, these are the factors that drive the world fashion industries and designer labels towards the supreme positions.

Despite those reasons, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit, a basic need of our life like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“cloth”
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
more
smartly
and
wisely
. Excessive shopping of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
should
be avoided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
productive ways in our life where investing this money and time seem more sensible. For an instance: by cutting the extra budget of useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, one can
easily
raise a fund for the purpose of entertainment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a business or can run any kind of charity
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
Furthermore
, one should care about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
appearance and the particular ambience while selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it is the real definition of smartness that grabs more attention than
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
open up outfits. Following trendy fashions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contradicts with someone’s native culture and that can lead to social problems. Have a sense of style does not mean that someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
wear the expensive and latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
always.

In conclusion
, while spending money, time and energy for having useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off and attract attentions, I believe
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of these elements in other creative areas and choosing comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are far more reasonable.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people don't need new clothes all the time. Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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