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Buying fashionable clothies is wasteful because people do not need new clothes all the time Clothing should be bought and used more wisely Do you agree v.1

Buying fashionable clothies is wasteful because people do not need new clothes all the time Clothing should be bought and used more wisely Do you agree v. 1
Changing job and location is a popular trend currently. Previously, people used to spend whole life doing work at the same organization. Firstly, this essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this trend, and later provide an opinion. There are many advantages of changing jobs, among which the most obvious one is exposed to different experiences. If an individual remains in a same place doing routine job, he is less likely to learn new things in his lifespan. A study, For instance, conducted by IBM university found that 60% of people who move to new working environments have a high intellectual level than those who do not. Moreover, changing premises will allow an individual to do tasks with interest, meaning that repetitive and menial work tends to become boring in a long run; at some point humans lose the interest to carry out the same tasks again and again. Turning to the drawbacks, a different environment will result in culture shock. To elaborate, though a person is intelligent, he may face difficulty to adapt to new working conditions. In addition to that, developing a professional network all over again would become a major task. Also, building everything from scratch like socializing with people from different cultures and setting up house, would be difficult if an individual is moving to a foreign country altogether. Having discussed both the viewpoints, I believe that people should be encouraged to challenge themselves, and take up different career choices. Though people will face difficulties to adapt, it is more likely that these challenges will be a positive one, as it will result in growth. This is true in my case, until I was 25, I was comfortable in my teaching job, but later when I have explored Canada, having an employment opportunity and life in another part of the world has moulded by personality into a better individual. In conclusion, spending whole life under same employment conditions would ensure comfort, but this has a disadvantage of less growth. Although new employment initially causes stress and difficulties, it will not only allow a person to perform tasks with interest, but also enables him to become more knowledgeable since he is exposed to different e.
Changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and location is a popular trend
currently
. Previously,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend whole life doing work at the same organization.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this trend, and later provide an opinion.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, among which the most obvious one
is exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
experiences. If an individual remains in a same place doing routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he is less likely to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things in his lifespan. A study,
For instance
, conducted by IBM university found that 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
working environments have a high intellectual level than those who do not.
Moreover
, changing premises will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
an individual
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
with interest, meaning that repetitive and menial work tends to become boring in a long run; at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point humans lose the interest to carry out the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
again and again.

Turning to the drawbacks, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
environment will result in culture shock. To elaborate, though a person is intelligent, he may face difficulty to adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
working conditions.
In addition
to that, developing a professional network all over again would become a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
.
Also
, building everything from scratch like socializing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and setting up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, would be difficult if an individual is moving to a foreign country altogether.

Having discussed both the viewpoints, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to challenge themselves, and take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
career choices. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face difficulties to adapt, it is more likely that these challenges will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one, as it will result in growth. This is true in my case, until I was 25, I was comfortable in my teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later when I have explored Canada, having an employment opportunity and life in another part of the world has
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
by personality into a better individual.

In conclusion
, spending whole life under same employment conditions would ensure comfort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this has a disadvantage of less growth. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employment
initially
causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and difficulties, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a person to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
with interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enables him to become more knowledgeable since he
is exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
e.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying fashionable clothies is wasteful because people do not need new clothes all the time Clothing should be bought and used more wisely Do you agree v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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