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Briefly summarize the proposal in the student's letter. Then state the woman's opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v.1

Briefly summarize the proposal in the student's letter. Then state the woman's opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
Nowadays it is common for people to change their work rapidly as they can’t rely on the same job. Various reasons can be accountable for this phenomenon. First and foremost, the explosion of the population and the migration of people from urban areas contribute to the fierce competition in the job market. In this case, employees are faced with the risk that others mastering more practical skills would take place of them. Second, with the development of technology, people have to improve themselves to fit the continuous upgrading working environment. It is easy for them to be fired by their boss because they don’t have enough ability, under which circumstance, those workers are bound to change their works rapidly. Last but by no means least, more and more young people today have higher standards for themselves so they are not satisfied with one work, they prefer to challenge themselves during the process of changing jobs. There are several suggestions that people can adopt to be prepared for their future work. Among them I think the most important is to improve themselves at a young age. For example, students at school should receive all round education, leaning subjects besides basic courses like computer technology and such, in a bid to master more practical skills which are beneficial for their future career. Only in this way can people get confidence to be confronted with the potential competition and changing working environment. In conclusion, it is inevitable that the world is changing rapidly. Nevertheless, if we determine to perfect ourselves, I am sure there is a way in front of us.
Nowadays it is common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rapidly
as they can’t rely on the same job. Various reasons can be accountable for this phenomenon.

First
and foremost, the explosion of the population and the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from urban areas contribute to the fierce competition in the job market.
In this case
, employees
are faced
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that others mastering more practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
would take place of them. Second, with the development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves to fit the continuous upgrading working environment. It is easy for them to
be fired
by their boss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ability, under which circumstance, those workers
are bound
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their works
rapidly
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by no means least, more and more young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have higher standards for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not satisfied with one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they prefer to challenge themselves during the process of changing jobs.

There are several suggestions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
be prepared
for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Among them I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves at a young age.
For example
, students at school should receive all round education, leaning subjects
besides
basic courses like computer technology and such, in a bid to master more practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are beneficial for their future career.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
in this way can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confidence to
be confronted
with the potential competition and changing working environment.

In conclusion
, it is inevitable that the world is changing
rapidly
.
Nevertheless
, if we determine to perfect ourselves, I am sure there is a way in front of us.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Briefly summarize the proposal in the student's letter. Then state the woman's opinion about the proposal and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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