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Agree or disagree: your friends are the most important influence in your life. Explain your idea v.1

Agree or disagree: your friends are the most important influence in your life. Explain your idea v. 1
In today's global world, Education is the most momentous thing in an individual life. Most precious years of our life have been spent in getting education. To reap the benefits of it some students prefer to study in different cities far from home, while others get an education from the neighbourhood. In my opinion the advantages of studying away from the family are dominating than its negatives. In today's fast growing cities many skills for living needs to be learned from the present sprouting generation. Get education distant from home gives the opportunity to learn such skills. For instance, money and time management, cooking, cleaning and how all these things can be managed with our daily studies when the responsible person is far-away. Such skills in overall development. Another important domain for getting an education near to the university is the surrounding atmosphere, which is full of other pupils helps to encourage for to do the hard work. Other than that the opportunities of mixing with people from different background give the chance to develop maturity and several qualities or skills also can be learned from this, which leads towards a successful life. However, living away from home can be emotionally depressing for some students, as a consequence, they are not able to concentrate on study. On the other hand, studying in homeland can be helpful in saving money due to dorms and hostels could be more expensive. Moreover, older person or caretaker in surroundings can be favouring while studying, which helps to concentrate more on study rather than other responsibilities. In contrast disturbing neighbourhood and siblings can be injurious while learning. In addition, the shadow of a responsible person in surrounding could prevent a person from self development and maturity. To recapitulate, although the disadvantages such as emotional breakdown, the advantages of independence and self development are more significant. According to the above argument, I can be agreed that advantages of studying far from home are overwhelming.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's global world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the most momentous thing in an individual life. Most precious years of our life have
been spent
in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. To reap the benefits of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students prefer to study in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities far from home, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. In my opinion the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
away from the family are dominating than its negatives.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growing cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for living needs to
be learned
from the present sprouting generation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
distant from home gives the opportunity to learn such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
, money and time management, cooking, cleaning and how all these things can
be managed
with our daily studies when the responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is far-away. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
overall
development. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
domain for getting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
near to the university is the surrounding atmosphere, which is full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to encourage for to do the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than that the opportunities of mixing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
background give the chance to develop maturity and several qualities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
also
can
be learned
from this, which leads towards a successful life.
However
, living away from home can be
emotionally
depressing for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students, as a consequence, they are not able to concentrate on study.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in homeland can be helpful in saving money due to dorms and hostels could be more expensive.
Moreover
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or caretaker in surroundings can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to concentrate more on study
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
responsibilities. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
disturbing
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
and siblings can be injurious while learning.
In addition
, the shadow of a responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in surrounding could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
from self development and maturity.

To recapitulate, although the disadvantages such as emotional breakdown, the advantages of independence and self development are more significant. According to the above argument, I can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
far from home are overwhelming.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree: your friends are the most important influence in your life. Explain your idea v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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