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Do you agree or disagree that “ Poor people have more difficult lives than rich people have"? v.1

that “ Poor people have more difficult lives than rich people have"? v. 1
At present, technology has transformed the way individuals network with other people. This change has various positive, and negative effects on the bonds between people. Technology was built with the mindset of connecting people, although its outcome is quite the opposite. For example, the mobile handset was created to aid communication between people while travelling distances, but this has created more gaps than ever. The discovery was purely for good intentions, as it would help human beings in their daily tasks. The advantages of this innovation are numerous such as the computer, electric automobiles, voice-controlled television etc. There is no doubt that these gadgets have upgraded man's way of life. Since the advent of the industrial revolution, a new technological development has created a booming industry worldwide. There was economic growth, and decrease on the need for human labour. Even this had consequences, as the labourers had lost their only source of income. Excessive use of machinery is the current woe. For instance, the use of mobile phones, and laptops has increased the risk of physical ailments. Moreover, relations that are valuable are affected. Due to various features-loaded applications in electronic gadgets, individuals are unable to give time to their loved ones. The concept of family, and festival gathering is merely a photo shoot affair. Children no longer wish to play on the outside, as their videogames seem more interesting than engaging with other's their age. In conclusion, even though technology was built for the betterment of society, it has resulted in complex relations among citizens.
At present, technology has transformed the way individuals network with other
people
. This
change
has various
positive
, and
negative
effects on the bonds between
people
.

Technology
was built
with the mindset of connecting
people
, although its outcome is quite the opposite.
For example
, the mobile handset
was created
to aid communication between
people
while travelling distances,
but
this has created more gaps than ever. The discovery was
purely
for
good
intentions, as it would
help
human beings in their daily tasks. The advantages of this innovation are numerous such as the computer, electric automobiles, voice-controlled television etc. There is no doubt that these gadgets have upgraded
man
's way of life. Since the advent of the industrial revolution, a new technological development has created a booming industry worldwide. There was economic growth, and decrease on the need for human
labour
. Even this had consequences, as the
labourers
had lost their
only
source of income.

Excessive
use
of machinery is the
current
woe.
For instance
, the
use
of mobile phones, and laptops has increased the
risk
of physical ailments.
Moreover
, relations that are valuable are
affected
. Due to various features-loaded applications in electronic gadgets, individuals are unable to give time to their
loved
ones. The concept of family, and festival gathering is
merely
a photo shoot affair. Children no longer wish to play on the outside, as their
videogames
seem more interesting than engaging with other's their age.

In conclusion
,
even though
technology
was built
for the betterment of society, it has resulted in complex relations among citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay that “ Poor people have more difficult lives than rich people have"? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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