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Both women and men have full time job. It is logical that they should share the housework tasks equally, to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement? v.2

Both women and men have full time job. It is logical that they should share the housework tasks equally, v. 2
The question of distribution of responsibilities referring to household work between men and women have become controversial point for majority of people. In particular, it has become apparent that nowadays more and more women is becoming busy with their job and do not have enough time for housework. As to my mind, I truly believe under such conditions family should share their house duties between spouses. While there are a number of possible ways to justify my position, one of the main arguments is that, I believe, the main thing in this question is rational use of time. For example, if women is busy with her occupation full day and her husband stays at home it is logically that he will accomplish all domesticities because he will have a bunch of time for that. A different yet principal aspect is that marriage never will be all right and happy providing that one of the family member always busy with their work, household tasks and there is no time to enjoy life. On the other hand, historically women always stay at home, bring up children and cook all the time while men must work, hunt or earn money. In other words, carrying out all domestic chores was women’s responsibility wholly. I find this argument without merit for the following reason: hitherto women were not engaged in work and their only occupation was housework whereas now women can make discoveries and take managerial posts like men. To conclude, I find such opinion that only women must fulfil all domestic chores very obscurant and old-fashioned view. I believe person who is less busy should be in charge of that or provided that both spouses loaded with their main work it would be appropriate to discuss and share duties.
The question of distribution of responsibilities referring to household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have become controversial point for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In particular
, it has become apparent that nowadays more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with their job and do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for housework. As to my mind, I
truly
believe under such conditions family should share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
duties between spouses.

While there are a number of possible ways to justify my position, one of the main arguments is that, I believe, the main thing in this question is rational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with her occupation full day and her husband stays at home it is
logically
that he will accomplish all
Possible spelling mistake found.
domesticities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he will have a bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for that.

A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
yet
principal aspect is that marriage never will be all right and happy providing that one of the family member always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, household tasks and there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy life.

On the other hand
,
historically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
always stay at home, bring up children and cook all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, hunt or earn money.
In other words
, carrying out all domestic chores was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
responsibility wholly. I find this argument without merit for the following reason: hitherto
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were not engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occupation was housework whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
discoveries and take managerial posts like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

To conclude
, I find such opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fulfil all domestic chores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
obscurant
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned view. I believe person who is less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
should be in charge of that or provided that both spouses loaded with their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
it would be appropriate to discuss and share duties.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Both women and men have full time job. It is logical that they should share the housework tasks equally, v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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