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In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework task equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework task equally. v. 1
In days of yore, household chores were considered to be women’s duty, so people took it for granted that women had to do all the housework without any assistance from other members, particularly their husbands. However, with a surge of full-time women in the workforce / with a growth of women working full-time / with an increase of female full-time employment, some people, especially feminists, start to problematize and challenge this gender-biased concept, suggesting that men and women should equally share household chores. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with / concur with this egalitarian belief to a large extent for two reasons. To begin with, it is unfair to impose the burden of all housework on women as their roles in modern society have changed tremendously over the years. No longer are women confined to the traditional role of doing all maid-like drudgery at home. Since it is difficult for a single wage-earner to support (= provide for) a family, the majority of women today have sought full-time jobs to supplement their household income. Just like their fathers or husbands, women devote most of their time to their work during the daytime and suffer from considerably higher levels of work-related stress and anxiety; therefore, they deserve proper rest after a day’s hard work as men do. Nevertheless, if these career women are heavily burdened with the housework tasks after work, they might be overwhelmed with fatigue and stress, eventually compromising their physical and mental health. In addition, splitting household duties evenly can successfully create a gender-equal environment with a strong emphasis on mutual support and respect. For example, if parents share housework responsibilities, they are able to convey two important messages to their children. First, women or mothers are not synonymous with housework. It is incumbent upon each family member to do the household chores with no one being exempt from this family duty. Second, sharing housework tasks is a way to show our love and care to our beloved family. By helping his wife do the dishes, a husband can let her know how much he loves her. Similarly, a boy can show his care to his mother or sister by helping them do the laundry. Since sharing housework can help build a healthy marital relationship and strengthen the bonding among family members, it is justifiable to argue that men and women should share housework equally. In conclusion, gone are the days when housework is put on women’s shoulders. Nowadays, each member of the family should take part in doing housework. Equal division of household chores not only reduces the burden for women but also helps promote gender equality. Hence, it is reasonable for both genders to share housework.
In days of yore,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
were considered
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
duty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
took it for granted that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had to do all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
without any assistance from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
,
particularly
their husbands.
However
, with a surge of full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the workforce / with a growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
working full-time / with an increase of female full-time employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
feminists,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to problematize and challenge this gender-biased concept, suggesting that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
. As far as I
am concerned
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with / concur with this egalitarian belief to a large extent for two reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is unfair to impose the burden of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as their roles in modern society have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
tremendously
over the years. No longer are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
confined to the traditional role of doing all maid-like drudgery at home. Since it is difficult for a single wage-earner to support (= provide for) a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have sought full-time jobs to supplement their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
income.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like their fathers or husbands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
devote most of their time to their work during the daytime and suffer from
considerably
higher levels of work-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety;
therefore
, they deserve proper rest after a day’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
do.
Nevertheless
, if these career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
heavily
burdened with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
tasks after work, they might
be overwhelmed
with fatigue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
eventually
compromising their physical and mental health.

In addition
, splitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
duties
evenly
can
successfully
create a gender-equal environment with a strong emphasis on mutual support and respect.
For example
, if parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
responsibilities, they are able to convey two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
messages to their children.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or mothers are not synonymous with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
. It is incumbent upon each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
with no one being exempt from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
duty. Second, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
tasks is a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care to our beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. By helping his wife do the dishes, a husband can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
her know how much he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
her.
Similarly
, a boy can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
his care to his mother or sister by helping them do the laundry. Since sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build a healthy marital relationship and strengthen the bonding among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, it is justifiable to argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
equally
.

In conclusion
, gone are the days when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
is put
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
shoulders. Nowadays, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
. Equal division of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the burden for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
promote gender equality.
Hence
, it is reasonable for both genders to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework task equally. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
454 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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