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summarize the information by selecting uk's city from december to november total incidence of violent crime are shown in addition to incidences of four crime types v.1

summarize the information by selecting uk's city from december to november total incidence of violent crime are shown in addition to incidences of four crime types v.1
In recent years, More and more people argued that we should study a foreign language if we want to go aboard, otherwise we should not. Others maintained that we should learn a foreign language, whether people went aboard or stayed at home. First of all, if we travelled to or worked in a foreign country, speaking a foreign language was unavoidable, however, if just only stayed at home, people say that learning a foreign language was time-consuming and useless, so we should not focus on learning a foreign language, meanwhile, It meant that you had more spare time to study other knowledges than others. For example, in china most people who did not go aboard and know foreign languages has a good life either, and some successful businessman did not learn a foreign language, if they wanted to go aboard, they would take a translator. On the other hand, others criticized that learning a foreign language was not only in order to travel or work. After all, if you familiar with a foreign language, you were able to read some foreign article, it would enlarge your visions. Most people who have known a foreign language would have a good understanding of the world and made business more successful. For example, in developed country some executives of big company always were bilingual, which could make them exchange their ideas to another foreigner directly. To sum up, I mentioned that learning a foreign language could take lots of benefits, not only for going aboard, but also understanding this world better. I read an article about being a bilingual, it said that your brain could deal with complex question more efficiency, if you were bilingual. At last, with the development of times, I believe that learning a foreign language like English is unavoidable.
In recent years, More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that we should study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
if we want to go aboard,
otherwise
we should not. Others maintained that we should learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
went aboard or stayed at home.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if we travelled to or worked in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country, speaking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
was unavoidable,
however
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stayed at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
was time-consuming and useless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should not focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, meanwhile, It meant that you had more spare time to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
than others.
For example
, in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did not go aboard and know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life either, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
successful businessman did not learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, if they wanted to go aboard, they would take a translator.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others criticized that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in order to travel or work.
After all
, if you familiar with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, you were able to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
article, it would enlarge your visions. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have known a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
would have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
understanding of the world and made business more successful.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
executives of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
always were bilingual, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them exchange their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to another foreigner
directly
.

To sum up, I mentioned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
could take lots of benefits, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for going aboard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
understanding this world better. I read an article about being a bilingual, it said that your brain could deal with complex question more efficiency, if you were bilingual. At last, with the development of times, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
like English is unavoidable.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay summarize the information by selecting uk's city from december to november total incidence of violent crime are shown in addition to incidences of four crime types v.1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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