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Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer people are walking there days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v.1

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer people are walking there days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v. 1
Many people believe that global warming, vehicular pollution, and numerous other environmental issues demand action at a worldwide scale since one country’s pollution impacts others. Others think that these issues should be tackled by every country independently as pollution is a local issue. I believe for ecological issues, both global and national level contribution, is required. Some people hold a view that environmental problems have to be tackled on a global scale. Issues such as global warming, air pollution and marine pollution affect all the countries around the world and need a joint effort to deal with. I believe that a reduction in greenhouse gas emission should be agreed in international conferences. Also, tackling such problems can be a financial burden on developing countries. Hence, developed countries should contribute more to financing solutions. On the other hand, some people believe that the government of each country should be responsible for tackling their domestic pollution issues. The government should educate people about conserving energy and recycling resources. Residents need to take responsibility for their actions. For instance, river pollution can be reduced by local people if they improve waste disposal. The government can provide better public transport which can help to reduce private vehicles on the road, which ultimately help in bringing down air pollution. The government has the authority to create strict laws to control different types of infections. Therefore, I think, domestic problems should be handled nationally. In conclusion, the opinions of people differ whether environmental problems should be solved on a global scale or national scale, I believe that both levels of solutions significantly depend on the nature of the problem and needs for the answers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
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believe
that
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global
warming, vehicular
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pollution
, and numerous
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other
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
demand action at a worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
since one
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country’s
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pollution
impacts others. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
should
be tackled
by every
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country
independently
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a local
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issue
. I
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believe
for ecological
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issues
, both
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global
and national level contribution,
is required
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a view that environmental
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problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be tackled
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Issues
such as
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global
warming, air
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pollution
and marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
affect all the
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countries
around the world and need a joint effort to deal with. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a reduction in greenhouse gas emission should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
in international conferences.
Also
, tackling such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can be a financial burden on developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Hence
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should contribute more to financing solutions.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be responsible for tackling their domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about conserving energy and recycling resources. Residents need to take responsibility for their actions.
For instance
, river
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by local
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people
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
waste disposal. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can provide better public transport which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
private vehicles on the road, which
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in bringing down air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the authority to create strict laws to control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of infections.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should
be handled
nationally
.

In conclusion
, the opinions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
differ whether environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should
be solved
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
or national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that both levels of solutions
significantly
depend on the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and needs for the answers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer people are walking there days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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