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Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.3

Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 3
There is no doubt that famous sports personalities and film stars undergo numerous problems and benefits for being celebrities. The main problem is that their privacy gets affected, however, in my opinion, the advantages of being famous personality such as earning respect and popularity certainly surpass any of its disadvantages. To begin with, undoubtedly, the private lives of famous television and sports stars are always invaded by others. In other words, owing to their popularity, the public is often keen to know about the happenings in the day to day life of these personalities. As a consequence, most of them are followed by the paparazzi all the time which usually affect their personal life. To exemplify, according to a report by the New York Times, the late actress Marilyn Monroe, used to hide in her house for several days to avoid paparazzi. Thus, extreme popularity often takes away the freedom of having personal lives from these stars. Nevertheless, despite the aforementioned drawback, a strong case for being a celebrity can be drawn. The crucial advantage is that most of the celebrities earn huge respect and popularity for their work not only in the native country but also in other nations. As a result, they receive a gesture of respect and love for their hard work and unique skills in their respective work. To exemplify, the famous Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar has a fan following throughout the world and, moreover, he has received an award of honour from the queen of London. Hence, celebrities have the potential to make their family and nation proud. In conclusion, although popularity affects the private lives of celebrities, in my opinion, the merits of acquiring admiration and appreciation far outweigh its demerit.
There is no doubt that
famous
sports personalities and film stars undergo numerous problems and benefits for being
celebrities
. The main problem is that their privacy
gets
affected
,
however
, in my opinion, the advantages of being
famous
personality such as earning respect and
popularity
certainly
surpass any of its disadvantages.

To
begin
with,
undoubtedly
, the private
lives
of
famous
television and sports stars are always invaded by others.
In other words
, owing to their
popularity
, the public is
often
keen to know about the happenings in the
day to day
life of these personalities. As a consequence, most of them
are followed
by the paparazzi all the time which
usually
affect their personal life. To exemplify, according to a report by the New York Times, the late actress Marilyn Monroe,
used
to
hide
in her
house
for several days to avoid paparazzi.
Thus
, extreme
popularity
often
takes away the freedom of having personal
lives
from these stars.

Nevertheless
, despite the aforementioned drawback, a strong case for being a
celebrity
can
be drawn
. The crucial advantage is that most of the
celebrities
earn huge respect and
popularity
for their work not
only
in the native country
but
also
in other nations.
As a result
, they receive a gesture of respect and
love
for their
hard
work and unique
skills
in their respective work. To exemplify, the
famous
Indian cricketer
Sachin
Tendulkar
has a fan following throughout the world and,
moreover
, he has received an award of
honour
from the queen of London.
Hence
,
celebrities
have the potential to
make
their family and nation proud.

In conclusion
, although
popularity
affects the private
lives
of
celebrities
, in my opinion, the merits of acquiring admiration and appreciation far outweigh its demerit.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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