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Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.25

Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 25
Nowadays, every time you turn on the TV, go to the movies or read a magazine and listen to radio programs, you will find more illicit activities of celebrities than good activities. However, do positive aspects of them outweigh their negative aspects? I am totally in favour of idea of celebrities having overall bad influence. In this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples. It is clear that, some celebrities have dangerous effect on teens interms of use and abuse of alcohol and drugs. What I mean by this is that, teens see these people partying, drinking alcohol or doing drugs, and they think they should too. Subsequently, this sends the message to teens that in order to have fun or be cool, you have to use these substances. Teens may begin to think that it is no big deal, and this can cause serious problems leading to and including drug and alcohol addictions, risk taking behaviours and even death. Another the most common problems that occur are issues with self-esteem for teens, especially teen girls. When a teen girl flips through her favorite fashion magazine, she is inundated with pictures revolving around the erroneous belief that celebrities are perfect. The air-brushed pictures and pin-thin models can cause body images issues for teens. In trying to make themselves look like the pictures that they see, teens can cause real damage to their bodies. Working out too much or not eating enough can lead to an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia. Having said that, they have positive aspects too. There are actors who tend to lend charities, the top athletes who launch after school programs and so on. Take Salman Khan for instance. He is the superstar of Bollywood. He has enormous donations on various cancer charities. As a result of which, numerous cancer patients are able to fight against cancer and return to normal livelihood. All in all, although there are worth admiration works like huge contributions to charities, being true inspirations for school students and so on. And shameful effects like excessive alcohol intake and drug misuse. I believe the negative impacts readily overcome any positives.
Nowadays, every time you turn on the TV, go to the movies or read a magazine and listen to radio programs, you will find more illicit activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
activities.
However
, do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of them outweigh their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects? I am
totally
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
having
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence. In this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
Possible spelling mistake found.
interms
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and abuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. What I mean by this is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
partying, drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
or doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should too.
Subsequently
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
the message to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
that in order to have fun or be cool, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these substances.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teens
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal, and this can cause serious problems leading to and including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
addictions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
taking
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and even death.

Another the most common problems that occur are issues with self-esteem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
girls. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
girl flips through her favorite fashion magazine, she
is inundated
with pictures revolving around the erroneous belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are perfect. The air-brushed pictures and pin-thin models can cause body images issues for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
. In trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves look like the pictures that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
can cause real damage to their bodies. Working out too much or not eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
can lead to an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia.

Having said that, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects too. There are actors who tend to lend charities, the top athletes who launch after school programs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Take Salman Khan
for instance
. He is the superstar of Bollywood. He has enormous donations on various cancer charities.
As a result
of which, numerous cancer patients are able to fight against cancer and return to normal livelihood.

All in all, although there are worth admiration works like huge contributions to charities, being true inspirations for school students and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And shameful effects like excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
intake and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
misuse. I believe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts
readily
overcome any positives.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 25

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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