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Some people believe that there is a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think this trend as positive or negative development? v.3

Some people believe that there is a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think this trend as positive or negative development? v. 3
One of the major break-through of science and technology was invention of aero-planes. With everything, if used excessively can have a negative impact while if used moderately can help the humans and society as a whole. I believe airplanes are helping a lot of people and economy of several countries on a daily basis and reduction of it will pose a negative impact. Technology has changed every aspect of our life and one of it is the way we travel. In ancient times people travel through horses and camels and it took several days and additionally they could not travel far in the land. Air travel has made it possible to go people anywhere in the world in the nick of time, which has radically changed the tourism industry on which economy of several countries depends. E. g. Dubai was un-ending desert in the near past. They made several tourism resorts on the beach and made it one of the most exotic and sought-after beaches in the world. After flourishing of tourism, the economic condition of it has radically improved and living standard of local Arabians has seen new heights. Secondly, people could travel long distances in a shorter period of time. This saved an incredible amount of time, as time is money and it should be spent carefully. Executives travel faraway countries to form business ties and flourish their Business internationally. On the other hand, increased use of fossil fuels and deforestation for residential apartments and industries has caused a serious threat to our environment. Airplanes use tons of natural resources on a daily basis. Which in turn depleting them and increasing air pollution in the form of noise and emission of gasses. Reduction of air travel can prove to be a marvelous step towards saving the planet and its inhabitants. However, as this means of travel is extremely expensive, only rich people could afford it. Ordinary people use cars and buses, hence, by decreasing, it could only have minimal effect on the environment as a whole. In conclusion, air travel is luxurious as well as essential for the economy. I believe we should use it considerably for the right purpose.
One of the major break-through of science and technology was invention of aero-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
. With everything, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
excessively
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact while if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
moderately
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the humans and society as a whole. I believe airplanes are helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and economy of several countries on a daily basis and reduction of it will pose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.

Technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
every aspect of our life and one of it is the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. In ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
through horses and camels and it took several days and
additionally
they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
far in the land.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has made it possible to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
anywhere in the world in the nick of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which has
radically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the tourism industry on which economy of several countries depends.
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
E. g.
Dubai was
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-ending
desert in the near past. They made several tourism resorts on the beach and made it one of the most exotic and sought-after beaches in the world. After flourishing of tourism, the economic condition of it has
radically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and living standard of local Arabians has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
new heights.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
long distances in a shorter period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This saved an incredible amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is money and it should
be spent
carefully
. Executives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
faraway countries to form business ties and flourish their Business
internationally
.

On the other hand
, increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels and deforestation for residential apartments and industries has caused a serious threat to our environment. Airplanes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tons of natural resources on a daily basis. Which in turn depleting them and increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution in the form of noise and emission of gasses. Reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
can prove to be a marvelous step towards saving the planet and its inhabitants.
However
, as this means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is
extremely
expensive,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could afford it. Ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cars and buses,
hence
, by decreasing, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have minimal effect on the environment as a whole.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is luxurious
as well
as essential for the economy. I believe we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
considerably
for the right purpose.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there is a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think this trend as positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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