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Behaviour in schools is getting worse. Explain the causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions. v.2

Behaviour in schools is getting worse. Explain the causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions. v. 2
Nowadays, modern school system is facing a problem of bad behavior of the students and the situation is getting worse. In this essay, I will examine what are the reasons behind such behavior and what are the measures can be taken. The main reason of bad behavior in schools is lack of discipline due to large classes and family background. This may happen because it is difficult to teach large classes and control them. In addition, some disruptive students have negative family background and bad role models. These children cannot control their emotions and needs extra work with them. Apart of these children, some is just spoiled be their parents and do not respect any authority and rules. As a result, we observe bullying in schools and in the worst case of scenario, it could shooting in a school and other violent behavior. Owing to the problem of discipline in school which is declining, clear rules should be established for every person without exception. Every student and teacher should obey them and if somebody break them regularly should be excluded from a school. In addition, parents as well should take responsibility for children’s behavior and support school rules. For instance, if school have a rule for children to wear certain uniform, parents should provide it. In case of violent behavior, parents should take action immediately and find the reason of such behavior. In conclusion, there are some reasons behind of the declining of discipline in school such as large classes, absence of strict clear rules and bad family environment. It leads to violent behavior and bullying in schools. The main measures, which should be taken in order to solve it, are clear school rules and support of parents.
Nowadays, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system is facing a problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of the students and the situation is getting worse. In this essay, I will examine what are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and what are the measures can
be taken
.

The main
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reason
of
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bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is lack of discipline due to large classes and family background. This may happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is difficult to teach large classes and control them.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disruptive students have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
family background and
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bad
role models. These
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children
cannot control their emotions and needs extra work with them.
Wrong collocation. Did you mean "apart from"?
Apart of
these
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children
,
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some
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
spoiled be their
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parents
and do not respect any authority and
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rules
.
As a result
, we observe bullying in
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schools
and in the worst case of scenario, it could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "shoot"
shooting
in a
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school
and other violent behavior.

Owing to the problem of discipline in
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school
which is declining,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
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rules
should
be established
for every person without exception. Every student and teacher should obey them and if somebody
The pronoun 'somebody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "breaks", "broke".
break
them
regularly
should
be excluded
from a
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school
.
In addition
,
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parents
as well
should take responsibility for
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children’s
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behavior
and support
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
For instance
, if
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school
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to wear certain uniform,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should provide it. In case of violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
,
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parents
should take action immediately and find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of such behavior.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind of the declining of discipline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
such as large classes, absence of strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
family environment. It leads to violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and bullying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The main measures, which should
be taken
in order to solve it, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Behaviour in schools is getting worse. Explain the causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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