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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v.39

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v. 39
At nowadays, the number of young people around the globe are becoming increasingly higher compared to the number of senior people. However, such a tendency is likely lead to positive development in their society. This essay will outline that the advantages of this outweigh the demerits. At first, the benefits of this proclivity will be listed that young generation are able to materialize more advancements, which in turn, may promote the lives of people, followed by an analysis of how the disadvantage might prompt issues.
At nowadays, the number of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe are becoming
increasingly
higher compared to the number of senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, such a tendency is likely lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in their society. This essay will outline that the advantages of this outweigh the demerits. At
first
, the benefits of this proclivity will
be listed
that young generation are able to materialize more advancements, which in turn, may promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, followed by an analysis of how the disadvantage might prompt issues.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v. 39

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
85 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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