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Many young children today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning? v.3

Many young children today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning? v. 3
In our modern society many young people are not going to school to learn. They just with this negative attitude to learn. It has a reason why young people are acting like that. This essay will discuss the reason behind it and how to encourage them with positive attitude. To begin with, there are plenty of young children are attending school because they want to learn more about everything in this world. However, there are also young students are just leaving school with such a negative attitude and they do not want to learn anymore. There might be a reasons for every young children why they are acting that kind of attitude. For instance, some of them have no support system from their parents and it can result to act of rebelling. The effect of modern technology is also one reason behind it. Young children may tend to play with their gadgets than attending to their school. Another reason is the bad influence of their friends and last is some children grew up on poor family instead of going to school they are working or doing part-time job at their early age. On the other hand, to encourage our children to positive attitude they need to have a guidance from their guardian. Encourage them that education is the key to success and to have them a positive attitude to make them realize their dreams or profession they want to be in the future. To sum up, with a positive attitude while they are growing they have many things in this world that they will discover. As they grow up right discipline towards the children will be the key for their positive attitude in school and to their success in the future.
In our modern society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. It has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are acting like that. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind it and how to encourage them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
attitude.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about everything in this world.
However
, there are
also
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young
students are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attitude and
they do not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
anymore. There might be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
why they are acting that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have no support system from their parents and it can result to act of rebelling. The effect of modern technology is
also
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may tend to play with their gadgets than attending to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence of their friends and last is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grew up on poor family
instead
of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they are working or doing part-time job at their early age.

On the other hand
, to encourage our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
they need to have a guidance from their guardian. Encourage them that education is the key to success and to have them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize their dreams or profession they want to be in the future.

To sum up, with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
while they are growing they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in this world that they will discover. As they grow up right discipline towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be the key for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and to their success in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many young children today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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