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Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. v.5

Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. v. 5
More often, there's more people using alternative methods when it comes to control their money and payments, such as credit or debit cards, instead of using the traditional coins and bills. However, while for some people the use of ''plastic money'' provides them a more effective and advantageous way to manage the money, for others is still something too new and unknown to use it. In my opinion, despite at the beginning, it might result a little bit strange to get used to these new forms of money, these are more safety as well as more handy. Firstly, on one hand, one of the main disadvantages of virtual money is the one that concerns especially the oldest population. Many people from ages about 60 or 70 who have been always used to see their money every time they were paid or they had to pay something, credit cards can sometimes make them to feel stressed or even anxious, as they cannot see their money in cash, so in fact, they believe they lose some of the control they used to have about their income and capital. On the other hand, however, it is not only an easier and quicker way to control your payments but also a saftyer way to pay. Because you don't have to carry in your pocket a big amount of money every time you want to shop something, you are less likely to be stolen. In addition, because most of the time when you want to pay you only have to insert the card into the card machine, it is more workable. In addition, there's a large number of websites and applications which are connected with debit or credit cards and allow people to know what's going on in their bank accounts at every moment. By using their mobile phones they can transfer salary from an account to another and see their daily and even monthly movements or know where and what they have spent their money on. In conclusion, I think that the use of virtual money will continue to increase due to its clearly benefits, and money as we knew it, will no longer exist in the next few years.
More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, there's more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using alternative methods when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and payments, such as credit or debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
,
instead
of using the traditional coins and bills.
However
, while for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of ''plastic money'' provides them a more effective and advantageous way to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, for others is
still
something too new and unknown to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. In my opinion, despite at the beginning, it might result a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
strange to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to these new forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, these are more safety
as well
as more handy.

Firstly
, on one hand, one of the main disadvantages of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the one that concerns
especially
the oldest population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from ages about 60 or 70 who
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
have been always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
every time they were
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
paid or
they had to pay something, credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
or even anxious, as they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in cash,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in fact, they believe they lose
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
control they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have about their income and capital.

On the other hand
,
however
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an easier and quicker way to control your payments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
saftyer
way to pay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
you don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry in your pocket a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
every time you want to shop something, you are less likely to
be stolen
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the time when you want to pay you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
insert the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
machine, it is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
.

In addition
, there's
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
websites and applications which
are connected
with debit or credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know what's going on in their bank accounts at every moment. By using their mobile phones they can transfer salary from an account to another and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their daily and even monthly movements or know where and what they have spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will continue to increase due to its
clearly
benefits, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as we knew it, will no longer exist in the
next
few years.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
366 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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